Aretha

Aretha Franklin was and will remain one of my all-time favorite singers. The best Soul singer (male or female) ever. I love me some Patti LaBelle and Al Green, but Aretha was something more than special and beyond unique. She’s one of only two singers I can think of whom everyone loves. I mean as great as Elvis was, not everyone thought he was all that great. (I have to admit that I have none of his music recorded and to me he was a great entertainer, but not a great singer. Sorry Elvis fans, just call them like I see them.) Not everyone likes the Beatles, or the Eagles, or Willie Nelson. Whitney Houston comes close. But for me there are only two singers I can think of that everyone likes: Patsy Cline and Aretha Franklin.

For this old country boy to put Aretha Franklin on the pedestal with Patsy Cline says it all. And Aretha goes up just a little higher. If you ever heard Aretha sing “How Great Thou Art”, it changed your life. Her voice just came from a different place and it was one of those that helped change America for the better. We still have our racial divides and all is not perfect, but thank God we aren’t where we were 50 years ago. Aretha Franklin’s was one of those voices crying in the wilderness, perhaps the most beautiful voice . She taught us how to spell R-E-S-P-E-C-T and challenged us to THINK. Not only when it comes to race, but even more so when it comes to how we treat women. I expect about now she is singing for the angels and they are standing up. Like us, they know greatness, when they hear it.

Repeating Myself

Coming up with something to write about without repeating myself is becoming increasingly difficult. Maybe this is why old people keep telling the same stories over and over again…it’s all they got. The stuff I’m inclined to write about tends to fall into certain categories: business/economic, political/social, , religion, history, sports or something entirely personal that I have the audacity to think someone else might actually find interesting. While there is more than enough fresh material out there; it takes work to dig in, read, study, analyze, synthesize and then write about any of it in a way that is meaningful and relevant.

So I find myself going to the same old well of ideas and experiences. I repeat myself. Whether writing this blog or just having a conversation. I now preface my comments with “I may have told you this before, but…..” . Most people are too polite to cut you off and tell you that you’ve already told them something. Even if you tell them in advance that it’s ok to cut you off. And some people are just mean-spirited enough to let you ramble on and keep track of how many times you’ve told them that same story or some version of it.

Jordan Peterson makes this interesting observation in his book, 12 Rules For Life (which I have referenced before, am in the process of re-reading and continue to rank as one of the best book I’ve ever read):

“Researchers have recently discovered that new genes in the central nervous system turn themselves on when an organism is placed (or places itself) in a new situation. These genes code for new proteins. The proteins are the building blocks for new structures in the brain. This means that a lot of you is still nascent, in the most physical of senses, and will not be called forth by stasis. You have to say something, go somewhere and do things to get turned on. And, if not….you remain incomplete, and life is too hard for anyone incomplete.”

Am I in a rut? Is that why I find myself repeating myself? Is that why I find it increasingly difficult to come up with something new to say or write about? I think it probably is. Add to this the “PC Factor” in that you have to be careful in what you say about almost everyone and everything. Plowing new ground is dangerous.

So I suppose I’ll keep repeating myself in one way or the other. Sort of like television shows and movies, the same stories over and over. One of these days I’ll get tired of it and decide to either quit writing or buck up and plow new ground. Or maybe I’ll just try writing fiction and let people wonder if it’s really fiction.

Did I mention that coming up with something to write about without repeating myself is becoming increasingly difficult?...

“I am not young enough to know everything-Oscar Wilde”

I Can See Clearly Now

I remember when I got my first “big” television back in the late 90’s. It was the size of a small refrigerator and weighed over two hundred pounds. But it was a big step up from the standard 27” inch screens I’d grown accustomed to. And it was great.

Then in the late 2000’s I made the jump to an even bigger flat screen DLP, 56 inches. Wow, who knew this is what those actors really looked like. Then a couple of years later I bought an even bigger plasma flat screen. More wrinkles and pores. Those stars are not perfect after all.

Then two weeks ago I went to the next step with a 4K UHD LED television. And it’s just weird. I like it…I actually love it. But, it’s weird. It’s like you’re actually there. Not watching something that’s been recorded or even being televised. You’re actually watching it as though you are there except you can’t look around. You can only see what you see on the screen. And that’s worth repeating and remembering…you can only see what you see on the screen. So it’s not real, but it is entertaining. Perhaps a good way of describing much of our modern world.

I’m sure I’ll get used to it soon enough and begin to take it for granted. But when I think back to my childhood and the little black and white TV we watched, and enjoyed watching probably as much or more than we now enjoy watching these images on a ginormous flat screen, I wonder when will enough be enough. When will we run out of entertainment experience upgrades? Can we ever be satisfied? Of course, the answer is no to both questions. Virtual reality and artificially intelligent attendants await us somewhere in the future. And we’ll be wowed again, at least for awhile.

But eventually this will all come to an end. Certainly for each of us when our time comes and ultimately for all of us and all that is or ever was. The plug will be pulled and it will be over. And then we will see even more clearly and, at last, be seen for what and who we really are. It will definitely be the ultimate reality show.

Blistering Heat

So we’re in the middle of another Texas heatwave. They come along every few years when conditions are just right. 110+ degree temperatures and it can get dangerous. I remember the historic 1980 heatwave that went on for weeks. The last one in these parts was 2011. And it lasted awhile. But we didn’t get over 110. This one won’t last long. Folks who moved to North Texas and have only gone through a couple of summers are getting a real taste of just how bad it can be. Those of us who grew up here know that it just comes with the territory.

As a boy, I spent a good part of my summers with my grandparents on their farm down in Hood County. It was a great place and I loved going there. But, they did NOT have air-conditioning. Their house was on an elevation and got a good breeze, but not that good. Not when it was a 105 during the day and still 90+ inside the house at bedtime. My grandparents had a sleeping porch that was screened all-around and it wasn’t too bad there. I had the option of sweating in my bed, moving to their sleeping porch and bedding down on the floor listening to Papaw’s snoring or sleeping outside. I always opted for outside.

They had an old metal bed frame in the backyard with a bare mattress spring on it. (You might be a redneck if___). We’d cover it with a quilt and I’d go out there and sleep. The bed was under a chinaberry tree, but you could still look up and see the stars. There was usually a breeze and by morning I’d be rolled up in the quilt when the chickens and cows started their wake-up calls. Sometimes I’d wake up with little blisters on a leg or arm where gray blister beetles had visited me during the night. That sounds pretty creepy now, but back then it was no big deal. Just the price you paid for a good night’s sleep.

One of my uncles lived down the road from Papaw’s place and he didn’t have air-conditioning either. I’d stay there sometimes with my cousins, but if it was really hot I made sure to go back to Papaw’s before bedtime so I could sleep outside. I can still hear my uncle giving his opinion on air-conditioning. He theorized that it made people soft and unable to handle the heat. For folks who had to work outside most of the time, he believed that you were just better off to avoid air-conditioning all together. He finally relented in his old age and got an air-conditioner. He admitted that it was really nice, but still thought that folks who worked out in the heat should stay away from it.

I try to remain somewhat heat resistant. I spend a lot of time outside and I can tolerate the heat pretty well. But I couldn’t do it all day, every day. Now I live in a big stone house with central heat and air. At night I turn it down to 68 degrees and turn on the ceiling fan above my bed. I sleep under a blanket year round. I can’t look up and see the stars. And, I don’t wake up to the sound of chickens and cows and the fresh smell of a country morning. But, I don’t have blisters either. Texas summers just aren’t what they used to be. And, that’s ok with me.

Little Houses On The Prairie

“People who own property feel a sense of ownership in their future and their society. They study, save, work, strive and vote. And people trapped in a culture of tenancy do not.” – Henry Louis Gates

Recent data published by the U.S. Census Bureau shows that the ratio of median new home sale prices to median household income reached an all-time high value of 5.45 this year, which is to say that the typical new home sold in the U.S. cost nearly 5 and a half times the annual income earned by a typical American household. And of course, with new home prices going ever upward, used home prices follow. Rental prices also go up as demand increases and the cost to build new apartments goes up, up, up. Land, materials, taxes and labor are all contributing to the cost pressure. Tariffs and restrictions on immigrant labor will only put more pressure on the cost to build.

It has been estimated that over 40% of American households actually cannot afford to live where they are currently living. Whether it’s a house payment or rent, they are paying way more than 30% of their household income to put a roof over their heads. 30% has been the standard for a number of years. I’m old enough to remember when it was 25%, but that was given up long ago. Now many American families are paying 40% or even 50% of their income for housing.

This issue is complicated. There are a lot of factors which have put us in this place. As already noted, the cost to build is going up. Especially in growing urban areas where the jobs are. I live over 70 miles from Dallas but only 35 miles from the heart of Collin County (McKinney, Frisco, Plano). Land values here are going up rapidly. Houses are being built. Relatively affordable houses. But it’s taking twice as long to build due to labor shortages. Land, labor and time to build all add to the cost. And there will be those who move up here failing to appreciate how much it will cost to commute to the city, not just gas, but wear and tear on their car and themselves.

Often overlooked in the housing affordability discussion is how much housing has changed over the past 50 years. I don’t think we are ready to return to the 1950’s, but let’s be clear…there is no comparison between housing then and today. Houses back then might have been better built (perhaps), but there is no argument that the houses we have today are bigger and have more features.

I grew up in a small working class neighborhood in northwest Tarrant County, Texas (Fort Worth). Our house was average, if not a bit nicer. Just under 1000 sf, 2 BR, 1 Bath with a detached 1 car garage. No central heat and air. No built-in appliances, no fence, no sprinkler system, no security system, no place for a washer and dryer (but a screened in porch on the back for a “ringer” washer and clothes lines out back for a dryer.) It was a well-built frame house on a pier and beam foundation that still stands today, has a had a few upgrades and remains a home for some family, most likely much further down on the economic ladder than we were (and we weren’t up there very far.)

The first home I owned was a small (1100 sf) brick house. 2 BR, 1 bath, 1 car (attached) garage. A little space between the garage and the kitchen for a washer and dryer. Central heat and air. It was a major upgrade for me.

Over the years my houses have gotten bigger and nicer with more built-ins, more and better comfort systems, irrigation and security. Bigger garages, bigger utility rooms, more and bigger bathrooms, nicer kitchens, a fireplace (or two) of course. Starter homes today are larger and have more features than the first new “custom” home I purchased.

These days to find a house in a decent neighborhood with good schools usually means buying at least a 3 bedroom, 2 bath, 2 car garage with all the extras. That’s a minimum. More than likely you’ll end up in a 4 bedroom, 3 ½ bath, 3 car garage and in these parts, you must have a pool to be really happy. And the differences in neighborhood, build quality and features can account for a $50-100 per square foot price differential on top of the base cost to build.

Housing in North Texas is considered “affordable”. And up here where I live in small town Sherman-Denison one can still get a good house in a decent neighborhood for $125,000. But for the houses most people want these days, you jump quickly over $200,000. Go further south toward DFW and the price per square foot seems to go up at the rate of about $1 per mile.

If your annual household income is under $75,000 you’ll be hard-pressed to buy a house that you’d want to live in. Here in Grayson County, the median household income is $51,000. Just to the south, in Collin County (one of the wealthiest in the state) that number is just over $90,000. But drop down to Dallas and Tarrant counties and the numbers are $54,000 and $61,000 respectively. Bottom-line, a lot of people can’t afford to own or even rent the size and quality of living space we have grown to expect. And as interest rates creep up, affordability becomes an even bigger problem.

There are no easy solutions and there are certainly no quick solutions. The market is making some adjustments. After years of bigger is better, the houses are getting smaller (as are families, which will lead to other problems down the road). Smaller houses on less land cost less money. More young couples and families are living in apartments for longer periods of time. Nice apartments aren’t cheap, but usually more affordable than that “dream home”. And the trend is very noticeable around DFW. More and more high-end apartment complexes are being built in the suburbs with the better schools (and being built earlier in the development of the area before established home owners can push back on apartment-dwellers invading their villages.)

In North Texas, where there is still plenty of cheap land, we’re just spreading out. And that’s a viable option IF we can find ways to transport people and products more affordably. When one considers what a long-distance commuter’s life is like in DFW, Houston, Chicago, Los Angeles or Atlanta; it becomes quickly evident that this model of affordable housing is not the ultimate solution. This only becomes manageable with better, faster mass transit service and for some reason we here in America just won’t give up our cars. The freedom and independence of the automobile is considerably diminished when one considers the gridlock our urban freeways have become. We need high-speed commuter trains and we needed them yesterday but will settle for them as soon as possible.

The other options are “stack and pack” or “strip down”. “Stack and pack” means more apartments and condos. More people living in urban areas, close to their work. It’s the trend in many parts of the world and we’re starting to see it here in some major urban areas. Texas not so much yet, but it’s coming.

The “strip down” has been around these parts for years and here it’s called the “mobile home”. It comes with a stigma and I don’t see it as the ultimate solution, but it’s one answer for some people in some places where there is still space. The other “strip down” is the tiny house phenomenon. This feels like a millennial cry for help and/or attention and I don’t see it as the answer either. But I guess it will serve its purpose for a few for awhile.

The ultimate “strip down” is going back to the basics. Plain vanilla housing. Probably not wood frame, but some sort of affordable, recycled composite material. Built in a factory and assembled on sight. Fewer built-ins, smaller kitchens and bathrooms. Different ways of heating and cooling that cost less to install and operate (there are options, especially in smaller, energy efficient houses). No garages or at best smaller ones. Lawns and landscaping that need minimal water and maintenance. If this somehow becomes “a thing” and is considered cool and “green” it might actually work.

In the mean time, a lot of people are caught between the proverbial rock and a hard place when it comes to housing. And that has far reaching consequences. Put the American Dream out of reach for enough people and they won’t be inclined to put much effort toward making a America great again. They will decide it’s just not worth it and try something else. What that looks like, and who decides, are at the core of our political debate. One way or the other, change is coming.

Game Over

Donald Trump is arguably the most polarizing figure to ever occupy the oval office. I have confessed my sins and admitted voting for him. (I rationalize it by saying I voted against HRC, not for DJT). So far he’s done some good things: reducing regulations, appointing a conservative to the Supreme Court, opening a dialogue with North Korea, supporting our military and law enforcement. He’s done some not so good things: constantly tweeting and exhibiting language and behavior that is way beneath the office he is holding; picking fights with the media, starting a trade war, behaving erratically and inconsistently with his cabinet..basically just being the Donald Trump that we hoped he might leave at the curb when he moved into the White House.

But now he’s crossed a line from which he cannot recover. He’s taken crying children out of their parents’ arms. No matter that they came here illegally. No matter that these parents put their children at great risk during the journey to get here. No matter that we are following the letter of the law.

There are some things you just can’t do and we did it. Trump did it. And even though he scrambled around to “un-did it”, this one will leave a mark that won’t go away. Only the hardest of his hardcore base will stand by him at this point. Those in the big middle who voted just enough for him to win have abandoned him. Trump is finished and the Republican party is in critical condition. By inflicting what most are considering cruel and unnecessary hardship and trauma on children, Trump has committed the unpardonable sin. Game over.

“Never work with animals or children” – W.C. Fields

Ending It

The recent deaths of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain have us talking about suicide again. It’s not a new epidemic. I reckon it’s been around since the beginning when the first man realized that he was sentenced to a life of working the cursed soil that would only bring forth thistles and thorns. And women would have an even tougher life bearing children, having periods, then menopause and putting up with men. And that’s before they started shaving their legs and wearing high heels.

So people have always had good reasons to seek a way out of the pain and misery of this life. And when celebrities, who seem to have it all, opt for suicide; two questions come to mind. The obvious first question everyone ask is why, why did these people do this? The second question is out there but seldom asked: why more of us don’t punch our own tickets?

The truth is that a lot of us do punch that ticket. Around the world there are over 800,000 suicides each year (World Health Organization). And even though women have it tougher, they commit suicides at less than half the rate of men. That fact seems to hold true everywhere on earth except in Southeast Asia where the women are apparently as miserable as the men and just as inclined to put an end to it on their own. Southeast Asia and Europe (especially eastern Europe) have the highest suicide rates. The United States isn’t the most suicidal nation on earth, ranking 48th out of 183 nations but we’re moving up the charts.

So, back to the questions, why some do and why more people don’t? The underlying reasons are complicated and specific to each individual. But that said, depression seems to be the common denominator when it comes to suicide. Why most depressed people do NOT commit suicide is the real question. Depression may take a person to the threshold of suicide, but what makes them take that final, fatal step or, perhaps more importantly, keeps them from taking it?

For some people it’s religious belief. All of the world’s great religions oppose suicide. Some oppose it more than others. Even within religions some groups oppose it more than others, i.e. Catholics more so than Protestants. Buddhism seems to have a more tolerant view of suicide and perhaps that contributes to the higher suicide rate in Southeast Asia. And, in heavily Catholic Italy, the suicide rate is one of the lowest. So, what one believes about the eternal consequences of suicide is a factor.

Some people stop short of taking that final step because they know it will hurt others, those left behind. Some suicidal people have even credited pets with keeping them from going all the way.

But, the number one reason for not going through with it has to be fear. Fear is part of the religious barrier to suicide. What happens to my soul if I do this? And even for non-religious people there is the uncertainty of what lies beyond. But the hereafter can also be a motivator toward suicide. Whatever is out there is likely to be better, so let’s get on with it. Still fear is a deterrent. Fear of the pain. Fear of the experience of death. Even people who have faith and are not afraid of leaving this world usually have a fear of the process. How much does dying really hurt when you’re dying?

People take their own lives because it seems to be the best option at the moment. They are not happy in this life. Success that didn’t satisfy or failure that seems final. Hopes that are gone or a hopeless future. Lost loves or lost fortunes. The end of the beginning or the beginning of the end or just the end period, depending on your eternal perspective.

My own mother committed suicide late in life. Shot herself. She was depressed off and on and severely for most of her life. She attempted suicide when I was a child. Tried to hang herself, but somehow failed. At age 70, loaded up on anti-depressants and assorted drugs prescribed by different doctors; she sat down on her back porch, put a .38 to her chest, pulled the trigger and with a shot through the heart was gone. I can only guess that, in the final moment of decision, she could find no good reason not to.


Why should those who suffer ever be born?
Why should life be given to those whose spirits are bitter?
Why is life given to those who long for death that doesn’t come?
Why is it given to those who would rather search for death than for hidden treasure?
Why is life given to those who are actually happy and glad when they reach the grave?

The Book of Job 3: 20-22