Then What?

 

“No, his mind is not for rent to any god or government.

Always hopeful, yet discontent. He knows changes aren’t permanent."

 - from the song Tom Sawyer by Rush

 

It has been said that the one constant in this world is CHANGE; always has been, always will be. The Greek philosopher Heraclitus said it well, “No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he is not the same man.”  Change is inevitable. But to a significant degree the rate and direction of change is up to us. Over the past 200 years the rate of change has increased exponentially.  At some point it will come to an end as will everything, but the timing and means of such an event are well above our human pay grade. In the meantime, we must deal with change.  

Change should come to us with a “Then What?” warning label.  Fail to ask that question or fail to come up with reasonable answers to it, and you will suffer the consequences. History is replete with bad outcomes that could have been avoided if those driving change had seriously considered the “Then What?” that comes after the change.  A lot of people pushed for the prohibition of alcoholic beverages. and they got it.  Then what?  Forced busing to integrate schools.  Ok you got it.  Then What?  Go find those WMD’s.  Then What?  Get rid of those nasty old fossil fuels.  Then What?  Make America Great Again.  Then What?  Open the borders, it’s the humanitarian thing to do and besides we need someone to do the work we are too fat and lazy to do.  Then What?

Most of the news today is about people seeking to make big changes.  Changes which, in some cases, will do less good and more harm than expected.  And there is nary a moment taken to stop and ask, “Then What?” if we get the change we are demanding.  Of course, there are changes that have been for the better.  Civilization has only advanced by changing. Without change we would still be walking or riding animals as opposed to moving about in cars, trains and airplanes.  Without change we would not live as long or as well.  Without change we would still be ruled by monarchs and struggle just to survive. Changes in the law as well as in hearts and minds ended slavery.

Change is necessary.  God commands change and it is required if we are to be good stewards of this planet and live righteously.  But change comes with risks and there are always consequences...Then What?

La Cruzada Insensata

"We asked for workers.  We got people instead" - Max Frisch

Guess what? When the authorities decide it’s time to round up all the undocumented immigrants we discover that includes millions of people who have been in this country for years.  Enough years to have children and even grandchildren born here.  We also find there are millions of family members, co-workers, friends and neighbors who are undocumented, or their work-visas have expired.  

 What should come as no surprise is that when laws and regulations are not enforced, be it immigration or anything else, people will ignore them.  It becomes a simple cost/benefit decision.  We have kicked the immigration can down the road for decades. I do not blame people for slipping into this country to work and have a better life for themselves and their families.  I blame our government for failing to manage the process.  And by “manage” I do not mean building a bigger wall.  I mean investing in the resources to manage immigration and passing legislation that makes sense for immigrants as well as citizens.

So, when we go on a crusade to clean up the mess that’s developed because we allowed it to happen; a lot of technically guilty but otherwise innocent people will suffer.  And that’s more than enough to bring out the protesters along with those who will take advantage of the moment to push their radical agendas.

Contacts

 

I don’t travel as much as I used to but recently I made the mistake of taking a flight out of DFW on a Saturday morning in early June. The terminal was crowded and chaotic; packed with families and infrequent air travelers. The TSA and airline employees might as well have been robots.  I take that back, robots would likely have had more personality and been more efficient.  Even the flight attendants were just going through the motions, avoiding eye contact and mostly huddled up in the galley. The flight was completely full and like the passengers, the flight attendants just wanted the whole thing to be over as soon as possible.

 

It got me to thinking about how we relate to other people. I believe our contacts with others are either Transactional or Relational.  Most contacts tend to be Transactional, more so for some of us than others. For example, on the flight back home I got an upgrade to first class. I sat next to a gentleman who was probably about my age. I boarded ahead of him and had an aisle seat. When he came on board he nodded toward the window seat. I got up and let him in. During the flight he got up to go to the bathroom and was nimble enough to step over and around me. Not a single word was exchanged between us…ever during the entire flight. 

 

I know he could talk because he spoke to someone on his cell phone before we took off.  And he told the flight attendant what he wanted to drink and later his choice for breakfast.  He knew I could talk because I spoke with the flight attendant as well.  We were both readers.  He had a real book, a thick paperback about the American Revolutionary War.  I was re-reading Mere Christianity on my Kindle.  Perhaps he caught a glimpse of that and thought better of speaking to me lest I try to convert him. But neither of us made any attempt to speak directly with the other.  It was a silent transactional relationship. We happened to be sitting next to each other on an airplane. We respected each others’ space and privacy.  There was no other transaction to be had nor was there any interest in a relationship, however brief.

 

In my experience, when it comes to “contact”, most people tend to be either Initiators or Responders. At my core I am a Responder.  I rarely initiate contact unless it’s necessary.  In my work life it has been necessary and I do it rather well. But if a contact is primarily transactional with no apparent reason for it being more, I rarely go beyond saying what is necessary to complete the transaction. If you are waiting in line behind me you’ll be happy. I won’t be chatting up a ticket agent, a cashier or the person behind the counter taking my order.  

 

But I’m also Relational when it comes to contacts. If the opportunity presents itself I will make an effort to know more about you. If it’s on track to being a “relational contact” I will share quite a bit about myself. However, I cannot stand pretense and if I sense someone is not being honest and genuine, or it’s all about them...we’re pretty much done.

 

My wife on the other hand is an Initiator. She will strike up conversations with total strangers and proceed to shower a lot of attention on them. I think she gets away with it because she’s an attractive woman and just has a way of making people feel important. I am certain that she restrains herself when I’m around to avoid my “What the hell was that about?” questions afterwards.

 

My advice, know yourself and be prepared to know your audience. Some people are Initiators and some are Responders.  Some will never move beyond Transactional and some will rush to become Relational.  Be wary of Initiators if you aren’t sure about their motives. Some are like my wife, outgoing and just love people. But many simply want something from you. So watch out and pay attention.

 

Whether you are an Initiator or a Responder, avoid pretense and just be yourself if you wish to move beyond the Transactional level. And if you happen to be sitting next to me on an airplane, don’t be afraid to ask where I’m from or what I do. We’ll have a nice chat.