If A Man....

 

Once upon a time when it was acceptable to use He/Him/His pronouns, I had an old uncle who liked to introduce his thoughts and observations with this conjunctive phrase: “If a man….”.   My uncle would say things like “If a man wanted some fresh tomatoes, I’ve got a bunch of them out there ready to be picked”.  Or “If a man wanted to make some money, I could us a little help with…”.  Or “If a man was honest, he wouldn’t go into politics.”

Most of the time an “If a man” comment opened the door to a longer conversation that might end up with an unexpected conclusion such as “I just think air conditioning is making people soft.”  Or “sometimes people can get too much education”.  An “If a man” conversation might end up with a conclusion that there was no such thing as too much salt in your diet or the Dallas Cowboys would never win another Super Bowl so long as Jerry Jones owned the team.  Sometimes my uncle was right.

Political correctness was not a priority in those days, but some things were off limits.  Don’t discuss religion or how much money someone was making or even how much they paid for something.  And stay away from sex-related subject matter.  “If a man” chose to tread into those deep waters, he would soon find himself alone on the porch.

These days my uncle would be an anachronism, a man from a time and place that has all but disappeared.  But he was one of the good ones.  “If a man is honest and works hard, color don’t matter.”  “If a man lays a hand a woman he needs a butt-kickin’.“ “If a man lies about a little thing, he’ll lie to you about a big thing.” “If a man thinks he’s better than you, just leave him alone. It don’t matter.” “If a man is willing to learn, you ought to be willing to teach him.”

And I would add, “If a man is raised right, he needs act like it.”  My uncle would have agreed.