Saturday, September 1, 2012

Eastwooding or The Invisible Bluetooth?

“A man can be himself only so long as he is alone”
- Arthur Schopenhauer

Clint Eastwood’s dialogue with the invisible “Mr. Obama” sitting in the empty chair at the RNC has quickly become known as “Eastwooding”. I for one am glad that I now have another option for talking to myself. As an only child and one who really enjoys time alone, I have always been a “self-talker”. There are worse things one can do to one self. So I’ve never thought much about it. But occasionally, someone (usually my wife) will catch me talking to myself. (Again there are worse things she could catch me doing to myself, but that’s another subject).

Before cell phones and bluetooths, I used to tell her that I was practicing a speech or a sales presentation or trying to get rid of my thick Texas drawl. Another one that sometimes works is to say that you are singing. When the other person says, “Well it sounded like you were talking to yourself”, you can respond with something like, “I’m a terrible singer. That’s why I only sing when no one else is around”. If you have pets, you can always say that you were talking to them. That can work even if the dog or cat is nowhere near you. “Gee Honey, I thought Fluffy was over there on the couch.”

But the ultimate cover up for talking to oneself is the Bluetooth. As long as you have one of those in your ear, you can get away with talking to yourself or no one at all. You will not be questioned as long as you have that little gadget hooked on your ear. (Now the truth is that your wife will begin to get suspicious or perhaps jealous if you wear it 24/7.)

And then there is the Invisible Bluetooth. A term that some smart ass came up with when he saw a homeless person wondering down a city street talking to himself. Invisible Bluetooth has caught on and now when you see someone talking to themselves or you get caught talking to yourself, just say Invisible Bluetooth and everyone has a good laugh. As I have gotten older, I find that I am very comfortable wearing the Invisible Bluetooth. Everyone except my wife seems to understand. So my advice to all of you aging baby boomers like me is just go with it. Talk to yourself and if anyone gives you a funny look, point to your ear and say the two magic words: “Invisible Bluetooth”. Besides it’s much easier than carrying a chair around all of the time.

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