Time Out

 

Two months ago I wrote about the struggles I’d been having trying to sleep while dealing with a stubborn upper respiratory virus.  I thought I was just about over the sickness and noted how God had used this challenge to draw me closer to Him. 

 

As it turns out God wasn’t finished with the lesson.  I did not get over it and eventually ended up in the ER diagnosed with atypical pneumonia (aka walking pneumonia.)  The past few weeks have been challenging.  Lots of coughing and spitting… and even less sleep.  I’ve been unable to work or do much of anything other than lay around.  But with medication and time, we finally seem to be getting over it.  I hesitate to say that too loudly for it has  been 1 step forward and 2 steps back since the beginning of the year.  But my vitals are all looking good and I am actually getting some sleep. The cough has settled down and my lungs are clear.  I am weak and wrung out but feeling better and regaining strength. 

 

So what have I learned?  How about be careful what you pray for?  I’ve never had much patience and it’s always been something I prayed for.  But I didn’t really make much of an effort to become more patient.  I think God finally said, let’s answer these prayers for patience with a long, painful time out.  And I must admit, it’s got my attention.  I’ve always been a hard-charger, even in my old age.  I’ve enjoyed good health to the point of taking it for granted. I believed that as long as I ate right, got some exercise and a bit of sleep, I could handle just about anything.  I thanked God for my good health, but I probably took too much credit for it.  And as long as I could keep pushing myself, results would always be more important to me than patience…or people. 

 

These last three and half months have humbled me.  I have come to realize how my lack of patience is just another form of selfishness.  When a person thinks first of their self and what they want to accomplish, it doesn’t leave much room for patience.  Your priorities become work and results…right now.

 

I suppose it remains to be seen what I do with this lesson.  Old habits are hard to break.  Do I return to the old pattern of “me first”?   Or, do I stop and put others first for a change?   God is watching.