The Grievance Collectors

 

This is from a recent article in the National Review by Jim Geraghty:

“Time and again I have written about mass shooters and how many fit a psychological profile as “grievance collectors.” Willard Gaylin, one of the world’s preeminent psychology professors, writes about the dangers of “grievance collecting” in his book Hatred: The Psychological Descent into Violence:

Grievance collecting is a step on the journey to a full-blown paranoid psychosis. A grievance collector will move from the passive assumption of deprivation and low expectancy common to most paranoid personalities to a more aggressive mode. He will not endure passively his deprived state; he will occupy himself with accumulating evidence of his misfortunes and locating the sources. Grievance collectors are distrustful and provocative, convinced that they are always taken advantage of and given less than their fair share. . .

Underlying this philosophy is an undeviating comparative and competitive view of life. Everything is part of a zero-sum game. Deprivation can be felt in another person’s abundance of good fortune.

At the heart of the grievance collector’s worldview is that he is not responsible for the condition of his life; a vast conspiracy of malevolent individuals and forces is entirely at fault. There is always someone else to blame, and these mass shooters always find ways to excuse their own actions and deflect the responsibility to others.”

And so we get down to the heart of the matter. The human condition. Beginning with Cain and right up to the present day, grievance collectors have been responsible for much of the violence and chaos throughout history. At some level most all violence and chaos can be traced back to some individual or group grievance. I have often said that anger and fear are two of the three most powerful human motivators, the other being love.  Grievance collectors have no room for love in their heart, only hatred born out of anger and fear.

We can do things to limit the damage.  More restrictive gun laws, better security around soft targets, improved mental health treatment, closer monitoring of social media posts and the “dark web”.  But it will not change the sickest human hearts. The grievance collectors among us will continue to lash out and find ways to make a statement by killing people.  

As a Christian, I must consider that we may be in “the last days”.  At some point, God will say time is up. Satan knows it’s coming but not when it will come. He’s been working overtime since the beginning and most of all for the past two thousand years to transform or destroy God’s creation. We are now just living in the latest battleground of this cosmic war. Only God knows when the war will end.

Post It Not

 

Call me a slow learner, but I have come to realize that social media posts do not change the attitudes or opinions of those with whom one disagrees. Mostly they are just noise in the echo chamber made up of those who agree with you, an audience carefully selected by a particular social media algorithm. But on the occasion when your “opinion” post slips through to someone who does not agree with you, it tends to only increase their contempt for you and your opinions. It certainly doesn’t convert them to your way of thinking. People rarely agree with someone who tells them they are wrong, especially if they truly believe they are right.

Leading up to last year’s Presidential election I was a frequent poster or re-poster of articles, comments and cartoons which were critical of Democrats. As expected, they got likes and positive comments from those in my “tribe”.  Occasionally a left-leading rogue family member or a progressive friend of a friend might see the post and respond with the obligatory “Trump is a convicted felon” or “remember January 6^th” or similar barbs.  Even if they made a point that was factually correct, it didn’t matter.  I knew what was best for this country and they most certainly did not.  The back in forth did not change my mind or my vote, nor did it change theirs.

I still make comments or post an article that is favorable to the conservative cause.  But I also try to be more balanced and acknowledge where conservatives are going wrong. Still, it doesn’t matter much.  Some of my fellow conservatives will be angry with me because I not a being MAGA enough.  And the few progressives who may occasionally pay attention to what I have to say will just see me as patronizing.

I expect the world would be a better place if we stopped taking shots at each other verbal or otherwise. Perhaps it’s time to give the other side the benefit of doubt and appreciate their point of view.  My side is not always right.  Let’s face it, the Democrats have not cornered the market on bad ideas. They just don’t have many good ones. (OK, I couldn’t resist taking one last jab.)

And as I walked on through troubled times my spirit gets so downhearted sometimes.  

So where are the strong? And who are the trusted? And where is the harmony? Sweet harmony.

‘Cause each time I feel it slippin’ away, just makes me wanna cry.

What’s so funny ‘bout peace love and understanding?

-Elvis Costello lyrics from the song “Peace, Love and Understanding”.

Commentarii et Sententiae II

_I. Putin is not giving up on taking a large chunk of the Ukraine unless it becomes too painful for him to keep trying.  He knows the West is not jumping into a full-scale war with Russia.  Not because Russia is a military powerhouse, but because the Ukraine isn’t worth it.  Europe, China and India all need Russian oil and gas, and Putin knows it.  Eventually the Russia-Ukraine war will end.  Putin will get most of what he wanted and Zelensky will be replaced by someone more acceptable to those who wish to determine the future of Russia’s neighbors.

_II. On a recent trip to the nation’s capital, I spent the better part of a day in the Smithsonian National History Museum.  Conservatives have been complaining that the Smithsonian has gone too far in promoting revisionist history and “woke” ideology.  For that reason, I seriously considered not going.  But, at the last minute I decided to go and I’m glad I did.  Indeed, a lot of America’s dirty laundry was on display.  Some of it was prominently displayed and “hyped”.  Likewise, many of our finer moments did not get the attention they deserved in my opinion.  But overall, I didn’t think it was that bad.  Perhaps because I am a history buff, I was well aware of the good, the bad and the ugly of America.  But for the benefit of the young and easily influenced, I’d prefer to see a bit more flag waving and celebration of our successes.  Let’s just not swing too far in that direction and ignore the bad stuff.

_III. It would appear that New York City is well on the way to electing a real Socialist mayor.  Zohran Mamdami checks all the boxes.  Young, dynamic, personable, has a great smile and is unencumbered by white privilege. He’s also playing to an audience of people who are struggling to survive, much less get ahead; especially in a high cost-of-living location like New York City.  And he has broad appeal with young voters who have been sold “soft” socialism in one form or another since grade school. Mamdami and the New York mayoral race is just the tip of the socialist iceberg.  Millions of people in this country have given up on capitalism and think it’s time to reset and re-distribute wealth and resources in ways which they consider to be more equitable. “The problem with Socialism is that you eventually run out of other peoples’ money.” – Margaret Thatcher

Commentarii et Sententiae

“I never considered a difference of opinion in politics, in religion, in philosophy, as cause for withdrawing from a friend.” – Thomas Jefferson

 

Over the past couple of years I’ve shared my thoughts about various subjects under the heading of “My Two Cents Worth”.   Several readers have commented that the term “My Two Cents Worth” sounds really old and dated.  Considering that I am old and dated, I figured I might as well go all in.  Thus “My Two Cents Worth” is now “Commentarii et Sententiae”.

 

_I. That recent job numbers were massively revised downward comes as no surprise to those of us who are close to the front lines. I didn’t believe the numbers when they initially came out.  And the GDP numbers are just about as misleading considering that the major factor in the recent quarter’s GDP was the “favorable” trade balance as the result of tariffs.  We’ll see how this works out over the next few quarters, but I’m not seeing much good news on the horizon.  Trump’s Tariff Wars will benefit the few at the expense of the many.

 _II. Gerrymandering is just one more shady trick politicians have been using for decades to boost their careers.  Both parties have used it to gain the advantage and it has only served to divide us even more.

 _III. My Texas Tech Red Raiders are the poster boys for the new “money ball” and now everybody hates us.  We all know the money game has been played for years under the table.  Back in the good old days the “blue-blood” programs could stack up talent by offering pathways to championships and professional careers.  But start throwing million dollar deals out there and we see that “pay me now for real” beats “pay me later maybe”.

 _IV. I recently joined the Creatine craze and the results have been positive. Even though I’m old, I still workout and I can tell the difference in recovery and energy levels. It also seems to help a bit with mental sharpness and focus. The only downside is that it tends make your body hold water and you’re likely to carry a few extra pounds.  

 _V. North Texas’ infrastructure has forever failed to keep pace with population growth, and it seems to be getting worse.  I suppose our politicians are so intent on increasing their tax base in the short run that it doesn’t matter much what it’s doing to the quality of life for those taxpayers in the long run.

Cheap Grace and a Bowl of Soup

 

"And whoever does not carry their cross and follow me, cannot be my disciple."- Luke 14:27

I grew up in a mostly Baptist family.  I also got a good dose of Methodism and a few warning shots from Church of Christ relatives.  But the message I heard loud and clear was to believe that Jesus was the only begotten Son of God, that He died for my sins and rose on the third day…confess that or spend eternity in the fires of Hell.  So, at the ripe old age of ten, after hearing a sermon about a selfish Rich Man and a poor beggar named Lazarus, I walked down the aisle and “accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior”.  I was as sincere and as a frightened as a ten year-old boy could be; therefore I did what was necessary to avoid punishment.  I accepted Christ and He accepted me.  What a relief.  If only I had known what it really meant to be a Christ-follower.

As I grew older and discovered things like beer and girls, I grabbed the wheel of my life and proceeded to systematically move Jesus to the passenger side, then to the backseat and finally put him in the trunk.  I was still a “believer”, went to church occasionally; and might even read the Bible and pray when times got hard.  But my priorities were not God’s priorities; and in the end, as it says in The Book, you cannot serve two masters.

I ran in circles where most people didn’t talk much about God other than in profanities.  The few who admitted to being believers were mostly like me, content to stay on “the front porch” of the faith enjoying the blessed assurance of salvation and counting on their fire insurance.  Some still gave time and money to their church.  Those who were serious about their faith did more.  The Baptists were all about witnessing.  Do you know Jesus?  Say you believe, get baptized and go bring some more folks to church.  Cheap grace.  The Methodists and most of the other “mainline” denominations seemed to be more interested in charitable activities and just being respectable citizens who could check the right boxes.  Show we are Christians by our love… and give them a bowl of soup.

Witnessing, sharing your faith and being a good neighbor are foundational to being Christ-followers.  These are surely good things. But something was missing. When the covers were pulled back most believers’ lives weren’t much different from the non-believers.  Certainly mine was not. We clung to our “belief”, to our “faith”; but our actions betrayed us.  We might say the right things and even do some of the right things; but most of us were just Christ fans, not followers.  We were hypocrites at best, heretics at worst.

Now late in life, I realize that one can waste their life doing the wrong things while still believing the right things.  Cheap grace is not what God is offering.  The grace He offers costs Him everything.  While we can do nothing to earn God’s grace and mercy; if we are to accept it, we must accept it on His terms…and that is not cheap.

 

If A Man....

 

Once upon a time when it was acceptable to use He/Him/His pronouns, I had an old uncle who liked to introduce his thoughts and observations with this conjunctive phrase: “If a man….”.   My uncle would say things like “If a man wanted some fresh tomatoes, I’ve got a bunch of them out there ready to be picked”.  Or “If a man wanted to make some money, I could us a little help with…”.  Or “If a man was honest, he wouldn’t go into politics.”

Most of the time an “If a man” comment opened the door to a longer conversation that might end up with an unexpected conclusion such as “I just think air conditioning is making people soft.”  Or “sometimes people can get too much education”.  An “If a man” conversation might end up with a conclusion that there was no such thing as too much salt in your diet or the Dallas Cowboys would never win another Super Bowl so long as Jerry Jones owned the team.  Sometimes my uncle was right.

Political correctness was not a priority in those days, but some things were off limits.  Don’t discuss religion or how much money someone was making or even how much they paid for something.  And stay away from sex-related subject matter.  “If a man” chose to tread into those deep waters, he would soon find himself alone on the porch.

These days my uncle would be an anachronism, a man from a time and place that has all but disappeared.  But he was one of the good ones.  “If a man is honest and works hard, color don’t matter.”  “If a man lays a hand a woman he needs a butt-kickin’.“ “If a man lies about a little thing, he’ll lie to you about a big thing.” “If a man thinks he’s better than you, just leave him alone. It don’t matter.” “If a man is willing to learn, you ought to be willing to teach him.”

And I would add, “If a man is raised right, he needs act like it.”  My uncle would have agreed.

Waiting for the Whirlwind

 “So, Satan answered the Lord and said, “Does Job fear God for nothing? Have you not made a hedge around him, around his household, and around all that he has on every side? You have blessed the work of his hands, and his possessions have increased in the land. But now stretch out your hand and strike all that he has, and he will surely curse You to Your face.”  Job 1: 9-11

The Book of Job is considered by most biblical scholars to be the oldest book of the Bible. It’s the story of a rebellious spiritual being, Satan, who confronts God with a challenge.  The challenge takes place in front of the heavenly hosts called the Sons of God. God is convinced that Job honors and obeys Him for no reason other than He is God. Satan claims that Job’s worship of God is based entirely on the blessings he is enjoying in the here and now.  Take away his wealth and family; and ultimately his health and Satan is confident that Job will shake his fist at God and spew out curses against Him.

 

For reasons only He knows, God accepts the challenge and turns Satan loose on Job.  Satan is permitted to destroy Job’s worldly possessions, his loved ones and his health.  God says, “Do your worst, but do not take Job’s life.” Indeed, Satan does his worst. Job is left with nothing but a lonely and bitter wife. He is covered in painful sores and wishes he’d never been born. Things get so bad that his wife tells him to just curse God and die.  Advice which Job summarily rejects.  

 

His life-long friends show up ostensibly to comfort him. But their visit turns into an inquisition as they are convinced that Job is being punished for sinful behavior and his only salvation would be to confess and plead guilty before it’s too late. Job refuses to admit wrongdoing.  He knows that he has been faithful and obedient to God. Up until these disasters fell upon him, Job and God were close and he was blessed in every way. Job doesn’t understand why all of this has happened, but he knows it’s not punishment for some sin he has committed.  He demands an audience with God. In Job’s mind, God has some explaining to do.

 

Eventually God has had enough of Job’s friends’ bad theology and Job’s demands for answers. God does show up, but not before a young man by the name of Elihu rebukes Job and his friends.  He had waited patiently for his turn to speak and when Elihu cuts loose he not only tells the older men and Job where they are wrong, he also offers up a powerful introduction for what is about to come. It’s worth noting that in Hebrew the name Elihu translates as “my God is He”.

 

God then shows up in a whirlwind and sets the record straight not by answering Job’s questions, but by asking Job questions.  After brow-beating Job with questions about His power, how it is He who created all that exists and how it is He who sustains it; God ask Job, “Shall the one who contends with the Almighty correct Him? He who rebukes God, let him answer it.” Job offers a weak response and admits that he is simply a vile human being and will speak no more. Then to put a fine point on His message, God asks, “Would you indeed annul My judgement?  Would you condemn Me that you may be justified?”

 

There it is, the non-answer answer and the only answer that matters. When tragedy strikes us and it will strike each of us in this life, likely more that once; we must come to terms with it and how we can believe there is a good and merciful God out there somewhere. Is He there? Does He Care? If He does care, why did He cause or allow this to happen?

 

Job’s eyes were opened.  He replies to the Lord, “I know you can do everything and no purpose of Yours can be withheld from You. … Therefore, I have uttered what I did not understand, things to wonderful for me which I did not know. … I abhor myself and repent in dust and ashes.”

 

Job’s story has a happy ending.  Everything he lost is restored to him and more.  He truly was a blessed man.  Unfortunately for most who suffer great loss, they are not restored in this life. They are left with the memory of what once was and is no more.  They can choose to keep the faith and look to the hope of resurrection and restoration.  Or they can turn their back on God and lose that which is left and is to come as they drift into the darkness of unbelief.  Or they can keep asking God for answers and wait for the whirlwind.

Fair Warning

 

Texans tend to be independent, fearless and stubborn; especially the older, native-born Texans and those living outside of major urban centers.  We’ll spend money on pipe and cable fencing that cost four or five times more than barbed wire because we like the look of it and it makes a statement.  We’ll buy $100,000 pick-up trucks because we can (and they make a statement).  If it’s football-related, we don’t even question it.  Just write the check.  We spend massive amounts of money on mega churches, plastic surgeries, swimming pools and outdoor kitchens.

We’ll drop our pants and give millions of dollars in financial incentives to attract new businesses to our state.  We love our agriculture, oil and gas and defense industries and are ever ready to grease the financial wheels as necessary.  And we’ll spend money to provide water to our industries and our people. But, we have not seen the need to spend a bit of money on flash flood warning systems; not even in a place like the Hill Country where the Guadalupe River has a recorded history of extreme flash flood events dating all the way back to 1838 and as recently as 1998.

Whether one believes we live in a world broken by sin, the forces of nature, time or climate change; one must face the risks and manage them as best they can.  We can and should pray to be spared; but even more so, we should pray for the wisdom and foresight to prepare.  Sadly, it’s too late for the victims of the deadly flash flood of 2025. But there is no excuse for not being prepared for the next one.

Letting Go

As the years stack up, I find myself letting go of things.  Some I’ve learned to live without.  Some I no longer need and many I didn’t need in the first place.  And there are those things which I have grown tired of dragging along behind me.

What does one hang on to? And what does one let go of?  Ah, those are the questions one asks when lying awake in bed at 3 o’clock in the morning.  Now what matters?  Someone tell me, tell me now so I can go back to sleep…or stay awake.

I think it comes down to three key considerations.  First, is this thing good for my relationships with those who truly make a positive difference in my life, and I in theirs? Secondly, is this thing good for me; good for my health and my sanity?  And lastly, is this thing good for my soul, might it make an eternal difference and not just for me?

Take stock, consider, reflect.  Letting go is more difficult, but hanging on is more dangerous.  What things have made your life and the life of those around you worse?  What things have separated you from God?  You may not care.  But here you are, nonetheless, made in God’s image whether you believe it or not.  And one day you will care.

Let go of those things which hold you back. Understand that those most difficult to let go of often do the most damage.  We all have our demons.  We let them in and with God’s help we can let them out.

“Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.” -Hebrews 12:1

Then What?

 

“No, his mind is not for rent to any god or government.

Always hopeful, yet discontent. He knows changes aren’t permanent."

 - from the song Tom Sawyer by Rush

 

It has been said that the one constant in this world is CHANGE; always has been, always will be. The Greek philosopher Heraclitus said it well, “No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he is not the same man.”  Change is inevitable. But to a significant degree the rate and direction of change is up to us. Over the past 200 years the rate of change has increased exponentially.  At some point it will come to an end as will everything, but the timing and means of such an event are well above our human pay grade. In the meantime, we must deal with change.  

Change should come to us with a “Then What?” warning label.  Fail to ask that question or fail to come up with reasonable answers to it, and you will suffer the consequences. History is replete with bad outcomes that could have been avoided if those driving change had seriously considered the “Then What?” that comes after the change.  A lot of people pushed for the prohibition of alcoholic beverages. and they got it.  Then what?  Forced busing to integrate schools.  Ok you got it.  Then What?  Go find those WMD’s.  Then What?  Get rid of those nasty old fossil fuels.  Then What?  Make America Great Again.  Then What?  Open the borders, it’s the humanitarian thing to do and besides we need someone to do the work we are too fat and lazy to do.  Then What?

Most of the news today is about people seeking to make big changes.  Changes which, in some cases, will do less good and more harm than expected.  And there is nary a moment taken to stop and ask, “Then What?” if we get the change we are demanding.  Of course, there are changes that have been for the better.  Civilization has only advanced by changing. Without change we would still be walking or riding animals as opposed to moving about in cars, trains and airplanes.  Without change we would not live as long or as well.  Without change we would still be ruled by monarchs and struggle just to survive. Changes in the law as well as in hearts and minds ended slavery.

Change is necessary.  God commands change and it is required if we are to be good stewards of this planet and live righteously.  But change comes with risks and there are always consequences...Then What?

La Cruzada Insensata

"We asked for workers.  We got people instead" - Max Frisch

Guess what? When the authorities decide it’s time to round up all the undocumented immigrants we discover that includes millions of people who have been in this country for years.  Enough years to have children and even grandchildren born here.  We also find there are millions of family members, co-workers, friends and neighbors who are undocumented, or their work-visas have expired.  

 What should come as no surprise is that when laws and regulations are not enforced, be it immigration or anything else, people will ignore them.  It becomes a simple cost/benefit decision.  We have kicked the immigration can down the road for decades. I do not blame people for slipping into this country to work and have a better life for themselves and their families.  I blame our government for failing to manage the process.  And by “manage” I do not mean building a bigger wall.  I mean investing in the resources to manage immigration and passing legislation that makes sense for immigrants as well as citizens.

So, when we go on a crusade to clean up the mess that’s developed because we allowed it to happen; a lot of technically guilty but otherwise innocent people will suffer.  And that’s more than enough to bring out the protesters along with those who will take advantage of the moment to push their radical agendas.

Contacts

 

I don’t travel as much as I used to but recently I made the mistake of taking a flight out of DFW on a Saturday morning in early June. The terminal was crowded and chaotic; packed with families and infrequent air travelers. The TSA and airline employees might as well have been robots.  I take that back, robots would likely have had more personality and been more efficient.  Even the flight attendants were just going through the motions, avoiding eye contact and mostly huddled up in the galley. The flight was completely full and like the passengers, the flight attendants just wanted the whole thing to be over as soon as possible.

 

It got me to thinking about how we relate to other people. I believe our contacts with others are either Transactional or Relational.  Most contacts tend to be Transactional, more so for some of us than others. For example, on the flight back home I got an upgrade to first class. I sat next to a gentleman who was probably about my age. I boarded ahead of him and had an aisle seat. When he came on board he nodded toward the window seat. I got up and let him in. During the flight he got up to go to the bathroom and was nimble enough to step over and around me. Not a single word was exchanged between us…ever during the entire flight. 

 

I know he could talk because he spoke to someone on his cell phone before we took off.  And he told the flight attendant what he wanted to drink and later his choice for breakfast.  He knew I could talk because I spoke with the flight attendant as well.  We were both readers.  He had a real book, a thick paperback about the American Revolutionary War.  I was re-reading Mere Christianity on my Kindle.  Perhaps he caught a glimpse of that and thought better of speaking to me lest I try to convert him. But neither of us made any attempt to speak directly with the other.  It was a silent transactional relationship. We happened to be sitting next to each other on an airplane. We respected each others’ space and privacy.  There was no other transaction to be had nor was there any interest in a relationship, however brief.

 

In my experience, when it comes to “contact”, most people tend to be either Initiators or Responders. At my core I am a Responder.  I rarely initiate contact unless it’s necessary.  In my work life it has been necessary and I do it rather well. But if a contact is primarily transactional with no apparent reason for it being more, I rarely go beyond saying what is necessary to complete the transaction. If you are waiting in line behind me you’ll be happy. I won’t be chatting up a ticket agent, a cashier or the person behind the counter taking my order.  

 

But I’m also Relational when it comes to contacts. If the opportunity presents itself I will make an effort to know more about you. If it’s on track to being a “relational contact” I will share quite a bit about myself. However, I cannot stand pretense and if I sense someone is not being honest and genuine, or it’s all about them...we’re pretty much done.

 

My wife on the other hand is an Initiator. She will strike up conversations with total strangers and proceed to shower a lot of attention on them. I think she gets away with it because she’s an attractive woman and just has a way of making people feel important. I am certain that she restrains herself when I’m around to avoid my “What the hell was that about?” questions afterwards.

 

My advice, know yourself and be prepared to know your audience. Some people are Initiators and some are Responders.  Some will never move beyond Transactional and some will rush to become Relational.  Be wary of Initiators if you aren’t sure about their motives. Some are like my wife, outgoing and just love people. But many simply want something from you. So watch out and pay attention.

 

Whether you are an Initiator or a Responder, avoid pretense and just be yourself if you wish to move beyond the Transactional level. And if you happen to be sitting next to me on an airplane, don’t be afraid to ask where I’m from or what I do. We’ll have a nice chat.

Knowing It All

 

“It’s what you learn after you know it all that counts.” – John Wooden

Have you ever worked with a know-it-all?  The one who is not always right but never in doubt.  They know just enough, to be right often enough, to convince themselves they know-it-all.  Working with or for a know-it-all can be one of life’s most frustrating experiences.  Perhaps the only thing more challenging is trying to manage a know-it-all.

In 1999 two psychologists, David Dunning and Justin Kruger, conducted a series of tests measuring college undergraduates’ logical reasoning, grammar and social skills.  After taking the test, students were asked to complete a self-assessment regarding how well they performed.  When the researchers compared actual test results to the students’ expected results, they found that the majority of those with lower scores had significantly overestimated their performance.

Thus, we now have what is known as the Dunning-Kruger Effect which is the tendency of people with low ability in a specific area to give overly positive assessments of their ability.  This isn’t a matter of intelligence.  For that matter, highly intelligent people may be even more inclined to overestimate their ability in areas where they lack the knowledge, skill and experience to perform well.

As a person with more than a few rings around his trunk, I confess that at times I have been an overly confident know-it-all in certain areas where I knew far less than I thought I did.  When one is younger and has a few wins under their belt, it’s easy enough to fall into the know-it-all trap.  One would do well to consider that it’s not about how smart you are or how much you know, it’s about what you don’t know. Once you can admit you don’t know-it-all you are ready to begin learning.

 

In The Corner

I had a dream the other night.  I was younger, probably in my early 20’s, and with three other young men.  We were dirty and hungry wandering around barefoot in tattered clothes. The dream gave no clue as to who these other men were or how we had come to this place and in such bad shape.  I did have the sense that we might have been soldiers, perhaps escaped POWs trying to get back to our lines.

We were in the countryside, stumbling along by a river.  We came upon a sand bar near the riverbank and saw small footprints.  Some were barefoot and some had shoes.  We walked a bit further along a trail that ran beside the river looking for more footprints when suddenly a boy appeared.  He looked to be 8 or 9 years old, and he had a sack over his shoulder that was filled with canned food. 

We spoke to him, but he did not reply, only motioning for us to follow him off the trail and up to higher ground above the river.  He pointed to a small village in the distance and began walking in that direction.  We followed.  When we got to the village we saw no signs of life.  

It was an old village.  We might have been in Germany, or France, or Northern Italy.  He led us to an empty cottage and unloaded the canned food.  Before we could tear into those cans, a small girl and two other boys appeared.  The little girl was carrying a basket of bread.  One of the boys had a jug of fresh water, the other a bottle of wine.  They smiled and offered us the bread, the water and the wine.

Before I awoke from the dream, I remember a small loaf of bread in my hands.  I broke it in half and began to eat. Then the dream faded away and I woke up....crying.

That's me in the corner

That's me in the spotlight

Losing my religion...

But that was just a dream

Try, cry, why try?

That was just a dream

Just a dream

-R.E.M. song "Losing My Religion" 

(And this was, in fact, a real dream that I am still trying to figure out.)

Job Change? Worst and Best Reasons.

 

“Having a bad boss isn’t your fault. Staying with one is.” – Nora Densel

Ever had a fast-talking recruiter try to sell you on making a job change?  If not, you must be hiding under a rock.  Ever had a family member urge you to change jobs?  If not, you either have no family or your family members are benefitting so much from your labor they are not inclined to rock the boat. Ever have a bad day at work, or a bad week, or maybe even a bad month; and decide it’s time for a job change? If not, then you are truly blessed. I would advise you to stop reading this now and just take the win.

After so many years in recruiting and before that quite a few years in the real world, I’ve learned there are good reasons and bad reasons for making a job change.  I personally learned the hard way back in my “pre-headhunting” career.  And I see way too many people repeating some of the same mistakes I made as well as some I was fortunate enough to avoid.

So here are my top 5 Worst and 5 Best Reasons for making a job change.

Worst Reason #1: Something or somebody made you angry.  You let it fester, eventually it caused you to become negative about aspects of your which job you used to like.  The only thing that’s changed is you got mad about something.  Now the pay isn’t what it should be.  And there’s no room for advancement.  Company leadership is suddenly clueless and you’re just not appreciated.  So a job change is the only answer.  Really?  Why not put the anger behind you and get back on track.

Worst Reason #2: Money.  You’ve got a good job.  You like the work, you like where you work and you like the people you work with.  But someone, a recruiter perhaps, has told you that you are underpaid.  You could and should be making more money and the only way that’s going to happen is to move to greener pastures.  If that seed got planted by a former co-worker who’s moved on and tells you the grass really is greener elsewhere, then it grows even bigger and faster.  Not long until you start “un-liking” things you used to like.  If your downward spiral starts with money, step back and take a deep breath.  Look at the big picture and all aspects of the job including benefits and future potential.  Don’t let the lure of money drive you to make a job change you may end up regretting.

Worst Reason #3: Your old boss has moved on.  They either got promoted, retired or left the company.  Now you have a new boss and he’s not the same as the old boss.  You just don’t have the same relationship and now you feel like you must prove yourself all over again.  And on top of it all, the new boss seems to be a bit of a prick.  You used to be the boss’s favorite and now you’re just another cog in the machine.  All the other things you liked about the company, your job, your pay, etc. haven’t changed.  You just lost your boss, who also happened to be a trusted friend.  Give it time, work through it.  Indeed, if the new boss really does turn out to be a prick whom you just can’t work for, then it’s time for a change.  But don’t make that call too soon.

 Worst Reason #4: Work-life balance.  You’re in a demanding job.  Lots of hours and lots of stress.  Your spouse and kids are complaining that you’re not around much and even when you are, you’re either too tired or your mind is a million miles away or you’re glued to your smartphone answering texts and emails.  You seem to be living to work and not really living at all.  Your family is unhappy and you’re not doing all that great either.  Yep, a job change is the answer…or is it?  Before you make that move, consider how much of your “un-balanced” work-life is your own fault.  It may be more about your priorities and work habits than about the requirements of the job.  If you’re the problem, you will eventually go right back into the rut in a new job. It could be even worse if the new job actually turns out to be more demanding.  Look in the mirror before you blame your ‘work-life balance” problem on the work.

Worst Reason #5: Rumors.  You’ve heard that your company is up for sale.  Someone in a position to know tells you that the owners have people coming in and looking at the financials behind closed doors.  It’s all very hush-hush.  Bet the company is up for sale.  Time to update your resume and raise the old “Open To Work” flag on your Linked IN profile.  No, it’s actually time to tap the brakes.  The company might well be considering offers or it could just be in the process of changing banks or lenders or insurance providers.  It could even be consultants who’ve been brought in to determine how the company might make improvements. (If it is consultants, might want to update the resume anyway…).  Most often, rumors are not a good reason to leave a good job.  They may turn out to be true and it still may not be a good reason to leave a good job…yet.

So, with the Worst behind us, what are the Top Five Best Reasons for making a job change?  As it turns out they are just the other side of the Top Five Worst Reasons.

Best Reason #1: Anger. Justified, irreversible anger is reason enough to make a job change. There are situations where you should be angry and if you stick around, it’s likely to get worse.  Sometimes anger is more than enough cause to leave a job.

Best Reason #2: Money.  Money should never be the primary motivator for taking another job, but a lack of money can be a good reason for leaving a job.  If by all accounts and measures you are compensated well-below market (all things considered including benefits, cost of living, etc.) then it’s time to seriously consider a job change.  But before you make a money-driven change, make sure you factor in all the elements of the job.  Money isn’t everything, especially if for a few dollars more you’re miserable.

Best Reason #3: A Bad Boss.  People work for people, not just the company.  There are times when a person is stuck working for a really bad boss. If the only way you can get out of that situation is to leave the company, then get out.

Best Reason #4: Work-life Balance.  People often find themselves in a job that demands a level of commitment that cannot be met without sacrificing relationships with family and friends.  If that’s the job, then either sacrifice work-life balance or find a different job.  It’s not that simple of course.  Usually those high-commitment jobs come with higher compensation.  There are no free lunches.

Best Reason #5: Rumors that turn out to be true.  Major changes in ownership or the financial well-being of a company are solid reasons to consider a job change.  But it’s not automatic.  You may be in a position where it makes sense to stay and the downside risks for you personally are minimal.  Otherwise, you have good reason to make a job change.

And I have an additional Best Reason for making a job change.  This is absolutely, no questions asked, the all-time best reason for making a job change. If you are faced with an unethical, immoral situation in your job that remains uncorrected, change jobs as soon as possible.  I need not give examples.  We all know the messy stuff that can go on in the workplace.   Do not ignore it and do not tolerate it.  

My Two Cents Worth…Making or Breaking America?

 

It’s been a few months since my last Two Cents Worth ramble.  I thought it best to hold my fire until I saw what Trump and Company would actually do on tariffs and how far DOGE would go in cutting government waste.  I knew the deportation of undocumented immigrants would be more difficult than it should be and lawfare was not dead yet by a long shot.  Now properly locked and loaded, let’s do this.

 _The adults left Washington a long time ago and the downward spiral seems to be accelerating. Both parties are to blame.  In the vacuum of leadership, we have government by the worst of us for the rest of us.  One incompetent group replaces another; each with a few good ideas and a lot of bad ones. A small step forward, two giant leaps backward. Rinse and repeat. 

 _I had always considered the talk of another American Civil War to be total click-bait nonsense.  It’s still mostly click-bait, but it’s no longer total nonsense.  If there is another Civil War, it will be driven by weaponized ideas, misinformation and technology.  Americans will become increasingly tribal.  There will likely be an increase in targeted as well as random acts of violence and destruction of property.  We will become further separated geographically, economically and spiritually. We are becoming the Dis-United States of America.

 _”Give us a protective tariff and we will have the greatest nation on earth.”  Who said it? And don’t cheat googling the answer.  Hint: Trump may have said it in so many words, but he was not the first. Abraham Lincoln is actually the one who said it. The truth is our founding fathers really liked the idea of tariffs and up until the 1930’s we had significant tariffs in place.  But there is a good reason why we became advocates of free trade. Overall, free trade is in our best interest. Perhaps not for specific industries. But when things can be made as well or better at lower costs in other places, that’s fine as long as a nation doesn’t sacrifice its strategic production capacity.  Yes, we allowed free trade to go too far and to our detriment in certain industries.  But Trump and Company are over-reaching and over-correcting when it comes to tariffs. This will go down in history as one of the most wrong things that was ever done for the most right reasons.

 _Musk and DOGE may also go on the list of wrong things done for the right reasons.  It’s not nearly as bad as the tariff fiasco.  However, the unintended consequences and collateral damage of their sledgehammer, lightening strike approach is going to backfire when the next regime, most likely a Democrat regime, returns to power.

 _The good news is that it’s not all doom and gloom.  We have some very bright, hard-working young people in this country. There is some evidence many of them are leaning back toward more traditional values of faith, family, education and hard work. It’s not too late to save what’s been lost and rebuild, God willing.

 _Lastly, one of my biggest regrets in life is that I did not copywrite and register “Click Bait”.

Other Plans

 

“And the Lord said, “Behold, they are one people, and they have all one language, and this is only the beginning of what they will do. And nothing that they propose to do will now be impossible for them.”- Genesis 11:6

Thousands of years ago, our ancient ancestors came up with a big plan. They had become more than just primitive hunter gathers who had learned how to use fire and make weapons from wood and stone.  These people had learned how to design and manufacture complex products.  They had developed the intelligence and the materials to build ever greater structures.  So, they decided it was time to make a name for themselves by building a tower that reached to the heavens.  But so often as it turns out, God had other plans.

Thousands of years later, we have come up with a new plan. A plan which captures and uses all recorded human knowledge and experience in more powerful and creative ways than ever imagined.  A plan which will create digital genies who can answer every question and someday soon grant every wish.  

Intelligent machines will do the heavy lifting as well as the delicate work of replacing an arthritic knee or repairing a damaged heart.  Robots will conduct massive research projects at unprecedented speeds to find cures for whatever ails us.  Eventually we will not have to ask questions, the genie will just know what we want and when we want it.  Life for flesh and blood human beings will become effortless. 

Perhaps the genies can make life go on forever or so some might wish. But I don’t want to live in a world where my dog walks me, or fish jump in the boat, or reading a book just feels like too much work.  I need to know that things are difficult and some are impossible, but still worth the effort.  It is good for me to solve problems and find the answers on my own.  Oh, I will accept and embrace Artificial Intelligence up to a point.  But A.I. will not make me smarter or feel more alive or draw me closer to God.  Besides, He still has other plans.

The Measure

Something's just not right.

That young man in the high school yearbook 

Is an old man now and dead.

I don't want to know how he looks.

It only reminds me of what's ahead.

 

Inside of us it's the 60's

We are still kids like we were back then

Was it real or just a dream?

At best it was a race against time.

Running past the life that was in between.

 

What’s past is not forgotten.

Would that I could repair,

But I don’t know how.

What’s left of us is never enough.

Regrets are the measure from then to now.

 

Something’s just not right.

The young are old and soon to be gone.

So very much we should have done.

But listen now to the fading voices,

And take one last look at the setting sun.