Saturday, May 21, 2011

The End of The World as We Know It

Well if you are reading this after 6 pm eastern time May 21, 2011 you must be among the 97% of humanity that did not get raptured. That’s rapture, as in being carried away. Not rupture, as in conflict or the tearing apart of tissue. According to the modern day Prophet Harold Camping, if you did not get raptured, you probably are ruptured and suffering through the first wave of Apocalyptic events. But, I’m betting that old Harold missed it again. (He had previously predicted that the end of the world would come sometime in September 1994. That was Barry Switzer’s first year coaching the Dallas Cowboys, so I actually gave the prophecy some credence.) At any rate, when September 1994 came and went and the world kept turning, Harold reminded us that he had said he might be wrong in his calculation.

This time around he says that he nailed it. May 21, 2011 6 pm eastern time. It’s over. Take that all you Mayan calendar freaks who claim the world will end December 21, 2012. (But if the world doesn’t end today, at least Harold has a fallback position. He can say that he failed to include the numerological value of the ancient Mayan word for bullshit in his calculation. Easy mistake to make. Same thing happened to Jim Jones).

I just find it fascinating that a significant number of grown people actually believe this stuff. I suppose it’s the ultimate escape. When drugs and alcohol and sex and money and reality TV and high stakes poker don’t work for you, I guess all that’s left is to go large and bet on the end of the world as we know it. If you’re right, you get to wave at the rest of us chumps bobbing up and down in a lake of fire. If you’re wrong, you just say God decided to give the world one more chance to vote for Sarah Palin and get rid of that Lady Gaga person.

At any rate, I’m not worried much about today or December 21, 2012. Even Jesus said that only God the Father knows when the End of the Age will come. So I’m sticking with Him on this one.

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