Alone Time

 

”I would rather sit on a pumpkin and have it all to myself, than be crowded on a velvet cushion”

– Henry David Thoreau

 

I have always been a “loner”.  Perhaps it comes from being an only child or maybe it is just something buried deep in my DNA.  My parents and grandparents all grew up in large families where joys and fears were shared along with beds, food and clothing.  There you were whomever the clan said you were.  A loner might be just considered shy or quiet, one who “sorta keeps to he -sef”.  More negatively, a loner might be considered  “stand-offish” or “sull’d-up”.  Then one day, family members might begin to whisper…”well ya-know heez jes diff-urnt”.  And with that, when you were old enough you left and started over someplace else.  Or stayed put, likely unmarried; rusting out and taking care of the old folks.

In my case, I accepted that I had to be at least moderately sociable since I lacked the talent or skill to make a living otherwise.  Being sufficiently bright and reasonably well-spoken, I jumped in the pool and did my best to stay afloat.  And it’s worked out ok.  Had I been less of a loner, it might have been better for my career as well as my personal relationships.  But the stress of too much time around too many people would have put me in an early grave…or prison.   

Now well along and nearing the end of my second career I suppose I have become a bit more sociable. But I think it’s because headhunting allows me to compartmentalize relationships.  My interactions with people whether they are hiring authorities, candidates or references; tend to be brief and for a very specific purpose. In some cases, long-term relationships develop, but that doesn’t mean we are communicating with each other on a regular basis.  Rather contact tends to be on an as needed basis.  And I find those to be the best kind. I’ve never been one to hang over the fence and make small talk. If it’s important or you need my help, I’m there.  If you want to talk about the weather, what you had for breakfast or just gossip…I’m out.

All of this is to say you won’t find me in the crowd shaking hands and rubbing elbows. I will be one of those outside perhaps with another loner having a meaningful conversation or simply standing in silence respecting each other’s alone time.