How You Make a Living

“Do you have any qualms about how you actually make a living?” – Dr. Jennifer Melfi
(Lorraine Bracco’s character speaking to Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) in the HBO series “The Sopranos”)


James Gandolfini, the actor who so brilliantly portrayed the Mafia boss, Tony Soprano, in the HBO series, “The Sopranos”; died this week. He suffered a heart attack while traveling in Italy. He was only 51 years old. Mr. Gandolfini was a great actor and a gentleman, who by all accounts was nothing like his character Tony Soprano. I remember seeing him for the first time in the movie True Romance (1993) where he played the role of; guess what…a Mafia guy. His violent, bloody scene with Patricia Arquette is classic Quinten Tarantino and definitely not for family viewing. (True Romance is one of my all time favorite movies and the soundtrack is killer…no pun intended.) While he played other roles during his career; to me James Gandolfini was always first and foremost the Italian Mafia guy with that classic New Jersey accent. And he was totally Tony Soprano.

"The Sopranos" was a hugely successful series that ran for six seasons. Even though it was about fictional characters living out their lives on a very unique and violent fringe of our society, "The Sopranos" somehow resonated with many of us. Americans have always been fascinated by gangsters and in particular with the Mafia. Back in the ‘70’s and 80’s, The Godfather series captured our attention and our imaginations. Later in the 90’s movies such as Goodfellas and Casino drilled down even further into the evils of organized crime. For some reason, we just love to watch it. Perhaps we even need to watch it. Usually it’s the ‘good’ bad guys vs. the ‘bad’ bad guys and it matters that we recognize the difference. It matters even more that we always remember that they are all bad guys.

Which brings me back to “The Sopranos”. Somehow “The Sopranos” was different from all of the other mafia/organized crime/mob stories. Just when you thought Tony and his crew were the ‘good’ bad guys, they would do something so awful that you knew they were just plain old bad guys. There was great writing and superb acting. It was an award-winning show all the way. But along the way to winning awards, “The Sopranos” became something more. It became a portrait of dysfunctional life in a wealthy American suburb. Tony Soprano just happened to be a guy whose ill-gotten gains were a bit more ill-gotten than those of his neighbors.

Meanwhile, back in the real world McMansions were being built throughout Northern New Jersey in neighborhoods very much like the one portrayed in "The Sopranos". And not just in North Jersey. Gated McMansionvilles were popping up everywhere. And more than a few of those McMansions were occupied by people who made their living polishing and selling turds; aka Structured Investment Vehicles (SIVs). Polishing and selling turds is legal as long as you do the paperwork and add the appropriate legal disclaimers in the fine print. These folks are not Bernie Madoffs, hatching illegal ponzi schemes and literally stealing money. But they aren’t much better. They are certainly not members of the community of ethical financial professionals who actually play a valuable role in the efficient deployment of capital resources. Perhaps we should just call these turd peddlers creative capitalists. Creative capitalists invent new investment vehicles and know how to spin even the most risky ventures into what unwary investors view as AAA grade safe havens. They understand the power of money and the value of diversification. They know how to H-E-D-G-E and that it is unwise to hold in their hands for too long even the most well-polished turd.

“The Sopranos” ended their run in 2007. A year later many of the polished turds started to stink and soon thereafter we had the Great Recession. A lot of people got hurt, including some of those “creative capitalists”. But the truth is that most of those who got hurt never moved into their own McMansion. The power of money tends to hold up pretty well, even in a Great Recession…if you have enough of it and you understand how to use it. So now five years later, those McMansions are occupied once more and new ones are being built. The creative capitalists are still running their magic show, moving money around the world while finding new ways to keep more of it for themselves.

What I found most interesting about Tony Soprano was that he was a tortured soul. He struggled to reconcile his life with the way he made his living. Few of us make our living from felonious pursuits. Even fewer of us end up “whacking people” or having people “whacked” in the process. But, if we have a conscience, most of us will at times question if we are “doing the right thing”. And then there are those who polish turds.


“Yeah. I find I have to be the sad clown: laughing on the outside, crying on the inside.” – Tony Soprano’s response to Dr. Melfi’s question.


RIP James Gandolfini

Heavy Burdens

When I moved back to Texas a few years ago, I reconnected with some old friends. Guys I grew up with back in the day. Still kids to me, although like me, now older and grayer and wrinkled; gravity and time and life having taken their toll. Over the past four years we’ve gathered for golf and birthdays and dinners and concerts. We’ve bored our wives with stories of our youth and embarrassed each other with tales of misadventures, old girlfriends and the time when you know who drank a pint of gin and threw up in the back seat of his best friend’s car. Mostly true stories that get better with age and the entitled embellishment that comes with the passing of years and the fading of memories.

One of my old friends called me this week. I could tell immediately that something was not right. He sounded anxious and may have been about half-drunk. He rambled on with a gee-whiz, can-you-believe-it tale of moving and lost or stolen credit cards and debit cards. Of changing banks and having funds tied up in the transition. Of how he did not realize what had happened until the day before, when he was unable to pay for repairs on his pick-up. Of how another of our friends stepped up and bailed him out with a $500 loan. Now he had a family emergency and needed travel money to see his sister down on the coast who was in dire need of his help. He could probably get by on a $1000 but really needed $1500. He hated to hit up his buddies, but since we were kind of like a band of brothers figured it was the logical place to go. And, besides, he would have all of the banking and credit/debit card mess worked out by next week and would pay me back immediately.

It’s been some years since I had a conversation like this. I used to have them on occasion with truck drivers (or their wives). I was born at night, but not last night and my bullshit meter still works. My old friend’s story was bullshit. I told him that I would call him back. I actually took the coward’s way out and said that I needed to run this by my wife. That I would not want her giving $1500 to one of her friends without talking to me first. I owed her the same consideration.

I called the friend who supposedly loaned him $500 the day before. Sure enough, that story did check out….up to a point. He had given him the money. When I told this friend that our “friend in need” had hit me up for money, he realized that he had been taken. He said he knew the folks at the repair shop where our friend claimed to have had his truck repaired. He quickly checked and called me back. Of course, there had been no repair.

I did call back to the “friend in need”. I told him that I hated to be a jerk, but that his story wasn’t adding up. He had kids and family and even an ex-wife with whom he was on good terms (I mean really good terms…friends with benefits good terms.) Had he reached out to any of them for a quick loan? He assured me that they would help him out but he just hated to go to them and he felt silly being caught short like this. Then he quickly started withdrawing his request, saying that he understood and it was no big deal…blah, blah, blah. I told him that if worse came to worse, call me back and I would help him.

In the day or two since those calls, I’ve discovered that my “friend in need” has fallen back into the black hole that is his gambling addiction. Having been away for many years, I did not realize that this had been an issue in the past. I have been told that he has called others in our circle of friends, who knowing the history, have turned him down. I have now learned that he has even exhausted the patience of his kids, his family and his ex-wife. Our “friend in need” is in big trouble. But, he will not admit it and will not seek help. It breaks my heart.

I could get on my soapbox and tell story after story of people’s lives that have been destroyed by gambling. It is a terrible addiction. But we all have our demons. Some worse than others. I’ve written in the past about “living on the edge”. It is a real place and it is real fun while it last. Then it’s over. I will not and cannot judge my old friend. There but for the grace of God go I. I will pray for my friend. It can’t hurt and it might even help. But, I’m not sure that my prayers get through. I’ve seen too many friends and family members fall under the weight of whatever addictive burdens they were bearing. I look in the mirror and see a man still struggling with his own demons. We all break hearts; our own as well as the hearts of those who love us…and even the heart of the One who saved us.

“When an impure spirit comes out of a person, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. Then it says, ‘I will return to the house I left.’ When it arrives, it finds the house unoccupied, swept clean and put in order. Then it goes and takes with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that person is worse than the first.” – Jesus, The Christ (Matthew 12:43-45).

Career Makers, Career Breakers....Part 4

“No man is an Island, entire of itself.” – John Donne


In the final installment of Career Makers, Career Breakers, we’ll look at perhaps the most important “Maker” and “Breaker” issue: Networking

Career Maker #7: Network, Network, Network
Here’s a news flash for all of you high performers out there who believe that you can ride your accomplishments all the way to the top: YOU CANNOT MAKE THAT RIDE TO THE TOP BY YOURSELF.

And here’s a second news flash: WITHOUT A PROFESSIONAL NETWORK YOU ARE BY YOURSELF.

You may be the smartest person in the room. You may have achievements out the kazoo. You may even be a great boss and mentor to those in your charge. But, if you are not “connected” beyond the immediate circle of people in your work group, you are falling behind in the “race to the top”. And if you are not even well-connected to the people with whom you work, then you are not even in the race.

Career Breaker #7: Don’t Network

There are different levels of networking. The good networkers know how to do it in a way that is genuine and they don’t even seem to be networking. The bad networkers always seem to have an agenda and everyone knows it. They just try too hard. You keep waiting for them to try and sell you something or convert you. But there is even something worse than the bad networker. It’s the non-networker. This is the person whose professional existence is known by only their co-workers, whose accomplishments only by the boss and whose personality is known perhaps by the resident bad networker who will attempt to connect with anyone who has an open door or an empty chair beside them. Non-networkers are otherwise invisible. If you are not highly motivated to advance in your career it may not be that big of a deal. But if you aspire to advance at all, much less advance to professional greatness, you better figure out this networking thing and get on board.

So am I saying that all of the folks who make it to the top are just glad-handing, hail-fellow-well-met types? Not at all. But, I am confident that they were and still are great networkers. This is not meant to diminish the talents and accomplishments of Fortune 500 CEO’s, but I think most of them would agree that there are a number of other executives out there who have (or had) the talent and drive to reach their level of professional success. It just didn't happen. The difference often comes down to being in the right place at the right time with the right people. And if you want to improve your odds of being in the right place at the right time with the right people, you must “network” with the right people at the right times in the right places…and in the right way (note comments above regarding bad networkers.)

Volumes have been written about networking, so I’ll not go much further other than to say that if you are not spending at least one hour per week “networking” you are seriously short-changing yourself. And this is more than polishing up your “on line” presence or brand. This is personal and it involves talking to people in your industry; customers, competitors, vendors, investors and yes, even headhunters. Of course, there are things you cannot and should not talk about. So be careful. But, there are plenty of things you can talk about and you can build safe, ethical and responsible relationships; even friendships. The “race to the top” is challenging. You will need guides, counselors, insiders, good PR, supporters and most definitely friends along the way. It doesn’t just happen. You have to help it along with a good dose of honest, sincere networking effort. Even if you don’t make it to the top, you’ll have more fun on the journey.

So that wraps up my take on Career Makers and Career Breakers. If I had taken more of my own advice along the way, I might not be blogging about such things today. I might even be rich and retired, or just tired. I can think of no better way to close this out than with one of my favorite poems:

THE BRIDGE BUILDER

An old man, going a lone highway,
Came at the evening cold and gray,
To a chasm, vast and deep and wide,
Through which was flowing a sullen tide.
The old man crossed in the twilight dim-
That sullen stream had no fears for him;
But he turned, when he reached the other side,
And built a bridge to span the tide.

"Old man," said a fellow pilgrim near,
"You are wasting strength in building here.
Your journey will end with the ending day;
You never again must pass this way.
You have crossed the chasm, deep and wide,
Why build you the bridge at the eventide?"

The builder lifted his old gray head.
"Good friend, in the path I have come," he said,
"There followeth after me today
A youth whose feet must pass this way.
This chasm that has been naught to me
To that fair-haired youth may a pitfall be.
He, too, must cross in the twilight dim;
Good friend, I am building the bridge for him."

-Will Allen Dromgoole

What Happens In Tornado Alley

I live in Tornado Alley. This is where I was born and with the exception of a few years in the Southeast and later in the Northern Rockies, it is where I have lived most of my life. And a number of those years were spent living in central Oklahoma, the bulls-eye of Tornado Alley. I was there on May 3, 1999 when The Big One finally hit and devastated the south side of Oklahoma City, namely the suburb of Moore, Oklahoma. When one grows up living with tornadoes, one doesn’t get too excited about them (or at least this “one” never had before then.) But when you see first hand the damage done by a monster tornado, it takes your breath away. It is truly unbelievable.

Last week a tornado hit Granbury, TX and killed six people. On Sunday tornadoes hit Edmond and the outskirts of Shawnee, Oklahoma. Several people lost their lives. It’s that time of year and it’s what happens in Tornado Alley. But then yesterday, a massive, killer tornado ripped through Moore, Oklahoma. Almost the same path as the May 3rd '99 tornado and another one, not as bad, that came through Moore in 2003. I remember watching the one in ’99 on television as it was on the ground for over an hour before hitting the OKC metro area. Everyone knew it was coming. Yesterday’s tornado gave less than 15 minutes warning. And that was best case. For many the warning was much less or none at all until they heard the sirens, if they heard the sirens. The death toll is already higher than it was in ’99 and will likely go even higher. Many of the dead are children who were trapped in the Plaza Towers Elementary School. And among the dead are teachers who gave their lives trying to protect their students.

A large portion of Moore, Oklahoma no longer exists or has been reduced to twisted piles of rubble. People who were alive yesterday are dead today. But, what you are witnessing and will continue to witness in the days ahead will be the best of Tornado Alley, its people. They just don’t come any better. They will turn to God and reach out to one another. Those who have, will give. And those who have lost everything will work to rebuild. I must confess that my faith is weak and I tend to question God in the wake of natural disasters. Some are like me, but most folks in this part of the world will thank God that they are still alive and note that it could have been worse. They will talk about God’s will and quote scripture: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28.

It’s that time of year and it’s what happens in Tornado Alley. I can live with it. I may even be used to it. But, I'll never understand it. Maybe I'm not supposed to.




Postscript:5/22/13
Giving thanks to God for the relatively low number of deaths from the tornado. Truly a miraculous outcome. For those who lost love ones, a tragedy of course. But given the circumstances, to lose only 24 people(the latest count)is amazing. Some might ask the question: How can you thank God for mitigating the impact of a disaster He created? If you believe that we live in a fallen, broken world; that is the answer. We live in a fallen, broken world. God intervenes as he sees fit and will "have mercy upon whom He will have mercy" (Rom 9:15). On the other hand, if you believe that God is directly responsible for natural disasters, then you are still left with the fact that He will "have mercy upon whom He will have mercy". Or you can believe whatever you choose to believe. Ultimately, we find ourselves humbled, down on our knees whispering "Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know." (Job 42:3)

Career Makers, Career Breakers...Part 3

Another week and more Makers and Breakers.

Career Maker #5: Take calculated risks and succeed.
Those candidates who step outside of their comfort zone and take on new challenges can really accelerate their careers. Conversely maintaining the status quo, even if you are maintaining it well; may be viewed as a negative by many prospective employers. Certainly, we have clients who appreciate the candidate who has had a steady, patient career track; sticking with the same company and staying in the same position for years at a time. But there comes a point, where employers look at steady/patient and see limited potential/not career motivated. So if you do have a burning desire to advance your career, don’t get stuck. Look for new challenges and be willing to take on reasonable risks where there is a realistic opportunity to succeed.

Career Breaker #5: Taking too many risks, too often and failing.
This is the other side of the coin and as a headhunter I see this outcome way too often. The classic scenario is the young rising star, smart, hard-working and seems to have the golden touch. This star quickly reaches the upper limit with his current employer. It could be for a variety of reasons, some legit and some political. Regardless, the star becomes frustrated. The star just can’t drive 55. Along comes the big opportunity, the big title, the big money…come on down, the price is right. The star jumps in with both feet. Perhaps it’s mission impossible or maybe he just isn’t ready for prime time; for what ever reasons, he fails. But stars know how to rebound and they find another high risk, high reward gig; then another and another. One day they look up and they are staring down the barrel at 50 with a resume than looks like Swiss cheese. You don’t want to be that candidate.

Career Maker #6: Be Nice
Contrary to what many people say and think, Nice Guys (and Gals), seldom finish last. What we do often see is that those who finish first are the object of resentment, jealousy and scorn, thus sometimes are labeled as something other than nice. Being nice doesn’t mean that you have to be a soft touch, people-pleasing pushover. That is not a good strategy for career advancement. But, my experience is that most successful people are genuinely pretty nice people. They build strong relationships with people throughout their company, industry and community. They are well-thought of and respected. It is rare that a “not so nice” person succeeds over the long run. As always there are exceptions, but odds are that if you are a genuinely nice person, you will do much better in your career (and in life for that matter).

Career Breaker #6: Be an Asshole
As noted above, there are exceptions to the “nice” rule. There are truly some awful characters out there who seem to revel in being assholes. And they have figured out how to survive and thrive in their particular organization. But, do not model your career on these exceptions. If you are an “asshole” it will usually catch up with you. Most organizations do not want that person. Even if you’ve managed to rack up an impressive list of accomplishments, you will have limited opportunities and there will come a time when the only job you can land will be working for assholes who are as bad or worse than you are.

"A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person." - Dave Barry

Career Makers, Career Breakers...Part 2

“For just one night let’s not be co-workers. Let’s be co-people.” – Ron Burgundy (from the movie Anchorman.)


Continuing the theme of Career Maker and Breakers, we start this week with:

Career Maker #3: Be a mentor and a talent developer.
The most common denominator I see in top performing, successful executives is a track record of developing people. Sure there are exceptions. Sometimes the Me-Me-Me self-absorbed executive rises to the top, using others as stepping stones and making no investment in anyone other than themselves. I could name names, but I won’t. You know who they are and they know who they are. But far and away, the best way to move through your career is by making other people better. Superstar Lone Rangers rarely succeed over the long run. You make your career better by helping other make theirs better.

Career Breaker #3: Crossing the line and getting “too involved” with co-workers.
Here’s the rule, when it comes to relationships with co-workers, don’t do anything you would not want published in the company newsletter, on facebook or in a petition for divorce. Again there are exceptions and we all know of “happily ever after” stories that resulted from “office romances”. Some may argue that if two people are single, it should not even be an issue. Some might even say that if people are unhappily married and they find their “soul-mate” at work; good for them. All I’m saying is that if you want to put your career on thin ice, sliding sideways…get involved with a co-worker. Thankfully, I avoided such slides during my career, but I must admit that I did feel my tires spinning a few times. The reality is that we’ve all seen more than a few up and coming stars derailed by office affairs. Why go there?

Career Maker #4: Do more than expected?
And the best way to do more than expected? Manage expectations. Another way of saying it is “Under-Commit and Over-Deliver.” The most successful managers and executives do a masterful job of setting expectations. It’s a balancing act of not setting the bar too low nor setting it too high. Smart executives avoid situations where they are trying to meet unrealistic expectations. In some cases, they will leave the organization rather than fail. Top performers meet or exceed their goals and objectives. They work hard and they work smart, no question. But, they also position themselves where there is a realistic opportunity to succeed.

Career Breaker #4: Do less than expected?
The corollary to CM4 is obvious. Want to derail your career? Fail to meet expectations. Sometimes it’s unavoidable and if you’re the person in charge you will likely end up paying the price. But, more often than not, I see people fail because they sign up for a mission that was doomed from the start. This goes back to last weeks CB2, “Not being strategic about your career”. Bosses, owners and investors should demand results that are difficult to achieve. Top performers should embrace the challenge. But don’t sign up for mission impossible. This is real life, not the movies. It may be cool to say “Go Big or Go Home”. But more often than not, those who try to go too big; end up going home.


Next week we’ll continue with more Makers and Breakers.

Career Makers, Career Breakers

Should I stay or should I go now?
If I go there will be trouble
And if I stay it will be double
So come on and let me know…should I stay or should I go?
-The Clash



One of the questions I am often asked is: “So is this a good career move?” And my usual answer is: “Well, that depends.” So what things do make or break a career? Over the next few weeks, I’ll give you my thoughts from the perspective of a headhunter as well as from a guy who made some maker and breaker moves during his own career in the transportation industry.

Career Maker #1: Enjoy the ride.
Several weeks ago my blog entry addressed the fact that work life is hard and it’s not always fun and games. But that doesn’t mean that you have to be miserable. If your job is making you miserable, do something about it. Check yourself, fix the situation or change jobs. Life is too short to be miserable in your work. And if you are truly unhappy, your career will be short and your life will not be very long either.

Career Breaker #1: Not being who you are.
It’s hard to “enjoy the ride” in your career if you have to put on a mask every day. Ultimately, you are who you are. And if who you are is a bad fit for the job or the company or maybe just your boss; it ain’t gonna work. If it’s a temporary bad fit, i.e. your boss is just passing through on his way up to the next rung on the ladder; you may be able to suck it up and survive. But if it’s a long-term bad fit situation, get out. If it means changing careers, do it…if you can. If it means changing companies, do it…if you can. I realize that some folks are trapped and for various reasons, they have to do what they have to do and be who they have to be in order to keep working. It’s cruel and unusual punishment, but that’s just the way it is sometimes.

Career Maker #2: Work for the right people, not jerks.
You may be in the right job with the right company, but if you are working for a jerk (or jerks); your career is at risk. There’s no way to win with jerks. If the jerk likes you and takes you under their wing, you will likely go down with the “jerk ship”. Jerks are eventually found out and punished. You don’t want to be on that team. Don’t stick around for the train wreck. If the jerk doesn’t like you and is out to get you and is in a position of power; run Forrest run. You are burning career daylight and just wasting time. Go elsewhere as soon as possible…do not pass go, do not collect $200.

Career Breaker #2: Not being strategic about your career.
This is a biggie and volumes have been written about career strategies. But, let’s just consider one critical strategic element: your choice of industry or functional specialty. Technology, innovations, competition, regulations, demographics and geo-political events are among the many things which can make or break your career. As an example, one of the few things I did right in my career was to get out of the unionized LTL market after de-regulation in the early 1980’s. I was still early in my career and while it was tough to walk away from above average pay and benefits (yes, even the managers were paid above market back then), I did not see a long-term upside in sticking around. I ended up in the non-union truckload segment which turned out to offer many more opportunities for advancement (some of which I squandered, but that’s another story for later in this series.)

No one has a crystal ball and you can never be sure, but when all signs point to negative trends you really need to think about where you are working, your position and what’s going on with your customers. There are some really smart (and lucky) folks who go against the tide and are successful contrarians. But, for the most part, if your industry or your company or your customers are fading away, you need to seriously evaluate your options.

We’ll continue next time with more Makers and Breakers.