Just a Conversation

 

“I know you from somewhere”, I heard him say.  I looked up but the white man wasn’t talking to me.  He was looking across the small waiting room at the black couple who had just sat down.

The black man replied, “I thought you looked familiar.  You bought your pick-up from __________.”

“That’s right, you’re one of the service managers over there, aren’t you?”/

“Yeah, how are you doing? Everything ok?”

“Yep, just here for a follow up with Dr._____.  You?”

“I’m having some problems with my right eye”.  Then nudging his wife who was sitting beside him, “She said I needed to see Dr._____ or quit complaining about it”.

The white man was with his wife as well and the two couples just started talking.  They talked about their work.  The white man was already retired and the black man was looking forward to it. They talked about where they were from originally and the places they had lived and worked.  The wives told stories about their husbands getting lost and refusing to ask for directions.  They laughed about their husbands telling them how to drive when these women knew perfectly well how to drive.  The women told how their husbands were always teasing the grandchildren and making them mad.  But when they stopped teasing them, the grandkids always asked if Papaw was ok.  

They told stories about when they were younger and their own kids were small.  And how their parents, now passed on, used to prod them to come see them more often.  They talked about the weather and going to church.  The white couple talked about living in West Texas for a few years and not liking it much.  The black couple talked about going back to Mississippi and Alabama to see family when they were younger.  But they had now been in Texas so long, this was home.

They talked about waiting to see doctors and why it always seemed to take so long.  And about getting old and then more about their grandkids.

Then the nurse came out and called a name.  The white man got up with a hand raised saying, “That’s me.”  He told the black man it was good to see him and wished him well with his eye problem.  The wives exchanged goodbyes saying how much they enjoyed visiting with each other.

Just a conversation between members of the human race.

A Five Pound Sack of Sugar

 

It was a hot day in the summer of 2009 when Kayla and I drove down to Tolar.  We were going there to pick up a little Bichon puppy.  We already had one Bichon, Dillon, who was getting up in years and needed a buddy.  Or at least we thought he did.  Or maybe we just wanted a puppy.  After a rough patch in our marriage, things were settling down.  We had moved back to Texas and this was where we would stay.  Time for a new dog to share our new life.

 

We had already picked out the name, Boudreaux.  The breeder had sent us his photo and he just looked like his name should be Boudreaux.  Over time we added more names.  He was Boo, or Boo-Boo or Boody Man.  He answered to them all with a tail wag and a happy face that seemed to say I am so glad you spoke to me.

 

That day in Tolar, when we first met Boudreaux in person, it was love at first sight; for him and for us.  I remember picking him up and saying, “You’re just a five-pound sack of sugar aren’t you?”.   He answered me with dog kisses and panting puppy affection.  He would eventually grow up to weigh twenty pounds, but he never stopped giving kisses or being affectionate.  He was always the same sweet puppy we met that first day.

 

Boudreaux was the complete opposite of Dillon who tended to be moody and neurotic.  Sometimes Dillon wanted to be petted and sometimes just to be left alone. But Boudreaux and Dillon got along well.  And I have no doubt that Boudreaux’s attitude and positive energy added years to Dillon’s life and, in the end, made Dillon a better dog.

 

Not long after Dillon passed away, we got Brodie, a Bichon-Havanese mix.  Brodie was a two-and-a half pound sack of sugar with lots of spice.  But he and Boudreaux got along great and became fast friends and allies.  We got a larger kennel so they could stay together and they truly became inseparable.  As Boudreaux aged, Brodie became his little protector.  When we brought Barney, an English Springer, into the family; it was Brodie who would jump on Barney and straighten him out when he played too rough.  Boudreaux, as always, just went with the flow, allowing Barney to chew on his tail and paw at his ears until Brodie came to the rescue.

 

But in this world, nothing last forever.  This week, Boudreaux took his last ride.  It’s only five miles to the veterinarian, but I wish it had been five hundred.  Just a little more time.  Some months ago the bloodwork from Boudreaux’s annual physical indicated liver problems.  We were concerned and he was given some medication.  Not long ago his bloodwork had shown improvement.  We were encouraged.  But then last week Boudreaux stopped eating.  He had been a bit “off his feed” for a week or two.  Nothing to worry about, or so we thought.  But, he quickly went downhill.  After two days at the vet’s, the outlook was grim.  We brought him back home, praying that he might rally.  He was glad to be home and tried to soldier on.  But he would not or could not eat.  When he drank water he threw up and it was not just water coming out of him.  He was dying.  The vet assured us that other than nausea, he was not in pain, but the end was inevitable and would come soon.

 

His last few days with us were spent sitting in Kayla’s lap or lying in his kennel next to Brodie.  When he went outside he would perk up for a moment or two and then lay down.  Once he saw me walking Barney in the field next to our house and somehow mustered the energy to wobble out to the fence, but he could not manage to bark.  Seeing Boudreaux trying to run, attempting to be his old self, broke me.  I somehow stumbled through the rest of that walk, tears running down my cheeks and Barney looking up, wondering if he had done something wrong.   I do not cry easily, but during the last days with Boudreaux, I cried often and I cried hard.

 

In the end, Boudreaux was at peace, ready to go.  And even though we were not ready, one does what one must do.  His ashes will take their place on the shelf alongside those of our first Springer, the original Barney; and Dillon, the cranky old Bichon uncle who showed Boudreaux the ropes when he was just a pup.  We will desperately miss him and today our hearts are broken.  But I take comfort knowing that little sack of sugar is in a better place and heaven just got a whole lot sweeter.

                                  The Five Pound Sack of Sugar - 2009

Matters of Opinion

 

“Everyone has the right to freedom of opinion and expression; this right includes freedom to hold opinions without interference and to seek, receive and impart information and ideas through any media regardless of frontiers.” – United Nations, Universal Declaration of Human Rights

The United Nations ratified the “Universal Declaration of Human Rights” in 1948.  No doubt they anticipated that advancements in technology would provide greater access to information and ideas.  More information and more ideas delivered to more people in less time and at lower costs.  But could they have imagined instant messaging on a global scale?  Millions of smart phones capturing images, recording events and transmitting them to the masses in real time?  Information and ideas, good and bad, truth and fiction going viral?  And to what consequence?

 

Certainly they understood the risks of “fake news” and propaganda.  A war had just been won against Fascism and the Cold War with Communism was on going.  In a world of print media, radio, movies and coming soon, television; there would be a battle for hearts and minds.  But it was manageable.  It had to be manageable.

 

The generation making that Universal Declaration of Human Rights, is mostly gone now.  Their children are old and fading away.  And their childrens’ children and grandchildren are mostly divided and disillusioned.  The battle for hearts and minds rages 24/7 and there is no escape.  The search for truth has given way to demands for tolerance of whatever ideology the loudest voices declare to be worthy.  

 

For all practical purposes human rights no longer include the right “to hold opinions without interference and to seek, receive and impart information and ideas through any media”.   As it turns out, receiving and imparting information in a world without shared values is only manageable by censorship and control.  And so the question becomes who gets to censor and who has control?  Welcome to the 21^st Century.

 

“Why sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast”-The White Queen from Alice in Wonderland (Lewis Carroll)

Texas 6

 

There is a documentary series available on Paramount Plus that follows a small-town Texas football program over the course of two seasons.   The town of Strawn, Texas is so small that it can only field a Six-Man team.  But, make no mistake, Six-Man football is still a big deal in the state of Texas because….well…because it’s football.   Texas is a huge state with a lot of small towns.  More than 150 of them have Six-Man football teams.  Most are not very good, but a handful have developed exceptional programs that consistently win and compete for the coveted state title. 'Texas 6' is about one such program.

 

Strawn is half-way between Fort Worth and Abilene, almost metropolitan compared to some Six-Man teams in Texas.  As an example, Sanderson in far Southwest Texas is 150 miles from Odessa, 200 miles from San Angelo and almost 300 miles from San Antonio.  Strawn is in Palo Pinto county, a place rich in western heritage.  A place where Comanche Indians once ruled, where Oliver Loving and Charles Goodnight ranched, a place of oil booms and busts.  Now it’s mostly just a place where State Highway 16 crosses Interstate 20.   A forgettable place passed over by truckers, trains and travelers.  A few stop at Mary’s Café for one of the best chicken fried steaks in Texas.  And there is dove hunting and deer hunting that still draw people out from the city.  But mostly no one stops and no one cares much about Strawn, Texas.

 

Being a Texan and a fan of high school football,  I thought the series was great.  But what really struck me was how much it reflected the America that is overlooked, discounted, disparaged and even despised by our “Wealthy Elites”.   Strawn Texas is uniquely Texan, but it has a lot in common with other rural communities and small towns all across America.  I would venture to say that any small town which  is more than an hour’s drive from a major metro area has more in common with the citizens of Strawn Texas than they do with those of major metros within their own state.  Even more so if that small town happens to be located in the South or Midwest.

 

Palo Pinto County Texas was once solidly Democratic; known back in the day as Texas “Blue Dog” Democrat.  No more.  Over 80% of the votes are now Republican Red.  It’s a poor, hard-scrabble, working class county that votes totally opposite of the way poor, hard-scrabble, working class counties in Texas voted 50 years ago.  This shift is not unique to small town Texas.  It’s happened all over this nation and it’s foundational to the extreme partisanship and division we now experience.

 

Too many on The Left, including the mainstream media, want to chalk it all up to a toxic mixture of racism, misogyny, Christian fundamentalism, homophobia, right-wing conspiracy peddlers and just plain old stupidity.  Deplorables clinging to their guns and religion.  Unfortunately, the real life of people like those in Strawn, Texas is not well-known and seldom portrayed accurately.  We are more likely to see movies and television shows about people and events which are familiar to those living in big cities or the surrounding urban sprawl.  When life in small town America is shown, it tends to be either idealized or demonized.  The truth, as is most often the case, is somewhere in between.

 

Texas 6 shows us life in a place where many families live below the poverty line.  Kids are being raised by single moms and grandparents. There are problems with alcohol and drugs.  Teachers and coaches do their best, but too often it's not enough.  Old men hold court over cups of coffee in the convenience store that serves as the local gathering spot.  Mostly they talk about football, the weather, livestock prices and the past.  When politics are discussed it’s with disdain for both parties and politicians in general.  There is a tone of resignation, mixed with patriotism and sadness. Whatever white privilege that may have existed left this town long ago.

 

So they vote for the lesser of evils, for the charlatans who are not as likely to disrupt what’s left of their way of life.  They cling to the hope reflected in their little high school football team, as well as their guns and their fading faith.  The kids and coaches kneel and say the Lord’s Prayer before each game and then rise to shouts of “Now let’s go kick the shit out of these guys”.  Those who have graduated, lean on the cyclone fence around the football field and remember their best days as they cheer for today’s heroes. Kids who would likely be faceless and nameless in big city high schools are stars in Strawn.  The players, the cheerleaders, even the water boy; everybody know who they are and that matters.  Most of them will move away and live out their lives in the suburbs, barely knowing their neighbors and watching their own kids disappear into the crowd. But they will remember what it was like once upon a time growing up in a small town. 

After Life...After All

 

Some of my fellow Christians criticize me for watching “secular” television shows and movies that contain sex, violence, profanity, etc. and worst of all, the “wrong message”.  The wrong message being anything against God, Christianity or The Church.  Granted some shows have no redeeming qualities and are nothing but blood and guts, boobs and butts, f-bombs and worse.  If I see one going that way, I turn it off.  I’m just not interested and it does one no good to watch or listen to that mess.

 

But there are shows that transcend their irreligious, dark side of this world messaging.  They tell stories about the human condition in ways that move me to be even more thankful for the faith God has given me and to be even more committed to becoming the person He wants me to be.  

 

One such show is on Netflix.  “After Life” just wrapped up its third and final season.  The creator and writer of “After Life” is Ricky Gervais, an award-winning English comedian.  Frankly,  I was never a Ricky Gervais fan.  Watching him host the Golden Globe awards I found him unnecessarily crude, mean and vulgar.  And his stand-up routines are even worse.  I could not imagine what he might do with a television series. 

 

But I gave “After Life” a shot.  And almost turned it off during the first episode of season one.  Gervais appeared to simply be playing his usual nasty, despicable self.  But there was a compelling back story to the show and an interesting supporting cast.  Gervais’ character, Tony, is a would-be journalist working for a struggling small-town newspaper.  He has lost his wife to cancer.  Now his life consists of watching old videos of his lovely, charming wife while petting his dog and getting drunk.  His wife was truly the love of his life, his best friend and his reason for living.  After losing her, he is just wanting and waiting to die, being miserable and making everyone around him miserable.  Sounds like an uplifting show, right?

 

Tony’s nihilism mixed with biting humor and sarcasm is at times funny, brutally honest and consistently dark.  Most of the other characters are struggling, anxious or clueless; but also interesting.  A few attempt to express some vague message of hope in the hereafter and a murky faith in some higher power. Without being too much of a spoiler, the series ends on what is meant to be a happier note.  Essentially the message is that this life is all there is, be nice and kind to others, do what you can to make things better and then leave the stage for the next actor.   There is a hint that your loved ones may be waiting for you on the other side or perhaps it’s just a memory that also disappears when you do.

 

After Life is a genuinely well-done series.  The writing is exceptional, the acting spot-on and the production top notch all around.  The music is perfect, always fitting and tugs at your emotions.  However, “After Life” left me with a deep sense of sadness.  Yes, I realize it was just a television show and it was fiction. But it looked a lot like modern life for so many people.  Those who search for the big answers to the big questions but fail to look beyond this world.  So many people believe only in what they can experience or what makes sense to them.  They may hope there is more, but all their efforts go toward finding happiness in the here and now, until they either give up or die trying to find it.

 

As I said, shows like this make me even more thankful for God’s grace.  Grace that brought me to the faith and sustains me.  Shows like this also give me perspective and understanding in my relationships with those who do not believe in an afterlife or anything else other than what exists in the material world. It challenges me to live in such a way that others may seek to know what I believe and why I believe it.  To be a witness, to give testimony to the truth not only in word but also in deed.

For if the dead are not raised, not even Christ has been raised. And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile and you are still in your sins. Then those who have fallen asleep in Christ have perished. If in Christ we have hope in this life only, we are of all people most to be pitied.  

1 Corinthians 15: 16-19

Wind in The Sails

 

Transportation and logistics service providers are enjoying an unprecedented freight bonanza.  Around the globe there is more stuff to be moved than there is capacity to move it.  And with the law of supply and demand still alive and well, rates have gone up…way up.  Up to rate levels that could not have been imagined a couple of years ago.  

To be sure costs have gone up as well.  For example, on as percentage basis truck driver pay has gone up even more than freight rates.  Other costs are up as well, but overall freight rates have shot up to levels where even the most inefficient, marginal service providers are now making money. If you can turn the lights on and find a way to move freight, you should be making money these days.

But why is it that some companies are doing so much better than others?  You may say, well they were more profitable before the big freight bonanza so it just stands to reason.  Fair enough.  But how does one explain the sizeable differences in profit improvement among carriers.  In fact, one would think that those companies that were doing better before the freight bonanza had less room for improvement than the laggards who were always saying if we just had more freight, if we could just get the rates up.

It's been said that “a rising tide lifts all boats”.  But perhaps a better analogy for this freight bonanza would be that “a strong wind fills all sails”.  And guess what, the better boats with the better sailors separate themselves even further from the pack.  Today we may not truly know just how well the better carriers are performing.  I promise you that their executives are using this opportunity to build up reserves, expense rather than capitalize wherever possible and pack bags throughout their financials.  They know that this bonanza won’t last forever and they certainly don’t want to report results they know they can not come close to matching in the future.  Yet still, it’s clear that some are reaping a bigger harvest than others.

My guess is that the real numbers would show that the better carriers’ profitability has improved at least twice as much as the average carriers and perhaps three or four times more than those who were losing money before the bonanza.  

More volume and higher prices are certainly better than low volume and low prices.  And more business and better prices can cover a multitude of problems.   But in the end, the best operating companies do even better in times like these.  Those who are just along for the ride may enjoy it for now, but what they do with this opportunity will determine if they survive when the bonanza is over and the tailwinds are gone.

2021...The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

 

Up until last year, I had been making predictions for the New Year.  Covid turned the world upside down in 2020 and there was no way I could even begin to imagine what 2021 might look like.  Now in late December 2021, it’s still an upside-down crazy world and who knows what 2022 will bring.  Even though I made no predictions about 2021, I thought it might be fun to look back on the year.  What was Good, what was Bad and what was just plain Ugly?  Some of these are personal and some are ripped from the headlines.  It’s not an exhaustive, all-inclusive list and I’m sure there are some major events that just didn’t resonate all that much with me.  So here is my own personal list of The Good, The Bad and The Ugly for 2021.  I’ll start with the Ugly and work my way up to the Good. 

 

The Ugly   

 

It doesn’t get much uglier than the January 6 assault on The United States Capitol.  I know, I know…blue state authorities and the main-stream media looked the other way or downplayed dozens of protests that turned into major riots and did far more damage than was done at the Capitol on January 6^th.  But invading the Capitol building crossed the line.  It was a dark day in America’s history and showed that the extremists on the right are just as crazy as those on the left.  Ugly.

 

The battle being fought over what gets taught in our public schools got uglier in 2021.  Some of the ugliest encounters occurred at school board meetings where angry parents protested the way in which Critical Race Theory (CRT) was being presented to their children.  Interestingly, some of the most vocal critics of CRT were parents of color who feared that this ideology of itself was racist and only made things worse.  This debate is far from over and will be a major hot spot in the mid-term elections.

 

Crime, violent crime, is spiraling out of control; especially in cities and states where ultra-progressive leadership has endorsed such things as “defunding” police departments.  The disconnect between many of these communities and law enforcement has only made the urban jungle more dangerous, deadly and ugly.

 

And then there is The Border.  It’s never been uglier and now citizen militias are being called in to help control the invasion.  To be clear, we need immigrants.  We have a serious labor shortage in this country.  I welcome anyone who is willing and able to work.  But, it has to be managed and at this point our government has been an epic fail when it comes to managing the border crisis.

 

And my final big ugly is the Supply Chain.  The global economy has been tiptoeing along the precipice of a supply chain failure for years.  When purchasing, manufacturing, inventories and supply chain channels are all being simultaneously coordinated to minimize costs something was bound to give.  Corporations may say they want to operate better, faster and cheaper.  But what they really mean is good enough, fast enough and at the lowest possible costs.  And this truly is the lane where free markets operate best.  Most of us benefit from the global competition to provide us with the stuff we want, when we want it and at a price we are willing to pay.   But the pressure to do that and still make a profit doesn’t leave much room for error.  Increase demand for goods vs services;  give people more money for doing nothing; have a container ship go sideways in the Suez canal blocking a vital link in the chain; finally reach the tipping point where there are no longer enough truck drivers to move the freight, disrupt the inflow of materials and supplies required to make stuff and then disrupt the outflow of finished products to the marketplace; mix and stir in the shadow of a global pandemic and you pretty much end up with what we have today:  higher prices, shortages and plenty of finger-pointing.

The Bad.

The Great February Freeze in Texas was quite an event and it was bad.  Our family was very fortunate. We never lost power and did not experience the devastation that impacted so many people.  My sense is that our power grid is still not up to handling extreme weather and the ultimate test will come one of these summers when it gets crazy hot for days and weeks on end.  We haven’t had one of those in a long time and there are now a whole lot more people and places in Texas to keep cool than there used to be.

 

And then we have a drought this fall.  After a cool wet Spring and Summer, it warmed up and dried out and has stayed that way for months.  With the forecast for Winter looking warm and dry, Texas and Oklahoma are primed for some major wildfires.  Those are always bad.

 

Another “bad” for yet another year was network television.  The programming on NBC, ABC. CBS and FOX is laughingly bad.  And that’s not even counting the News which is in another category beyond bad.  I don’t see how their business models are sustainable and the programming is a joke, a bad joke.

 

Inflation has gotten bad and may get worse.  Between supply chain issues, labor shortages and some misguided energy policies;  the cost of living has gone up significantly.   And it’s particularly tough on lower and middle income folks.  When energy and food costs go up it takes a bigger bite proportionately out of their incomes.  This will be another key factor in the mid-term elections.

 

And one cannot ignore just how bad the Biden-Harris administration has been.  I am a not a hardcore Trumper, but I did vote for him because the Democrats have gone off the rails.   Nevertheless, after Biden won I thought maybe it would be ok or at least not terrible.  The bar was set pretty low for Biden and he hasn’t come close to getting over it.  And VP Harris is just a train-wreck.  

 

Then there was and is Covid.  Delta, now Omnicron and Delta.  It’s bad and likely to get worse for a while before it turns around.  What’s even worse is that it has become just one more divisive issue in a country that is already way too divided.

 

The Good. (These are certainly more personal and won’t mean as much to most folks.)

 

Rain and cool weather.  We had a wet, cool Spring and early summer.  If you’ve lived in Texas a long time, you realize what a blessing that can be.  We dug a new pond on our place right before the big freeze and for a while it was mostly empty.  And then it rained and rained and rained some more.  The pond filled up, surrounded by green grass and wildflowers.  It was a beautiful thing.

 

It was good that my bees survived the great freeze.  Somehow they hunkered down, ate their honey and lived.  Then we had a huge honey harvest later in the year.  Bees are amazing.

 

My  English Springer Spaniel, Barney, was a year old this summer and is finally settling in to being a member of the family.  I need to take some time and train him because he’s really smart.  We walk each other through the fields before sundown and he lays across my lap every night watching television.  Barney is a fan of Masterpiece Theater and most anything on Britbox.   Scenes of the English countryside fascinate him.  And he loves classical music.  He thinks it is his mission in life to turn me into a proper English gentleman.  He will eventually figure out that it’s way too late for that.

 

Business was good.  High Road Partners had a great 2021 and my wife’s real estate business continues to grow.  She had an exceptional year and loves what’s she’s doing.

 

We were both healthy in 2021.  And that’s a very good thing.  We have been vaccinated and recently got the booster shots.  For those who choose not to get vaccinated, that’s their choice.  I expect the vaccine is not 100% safe and we know it’s not 100% effective.  But I’ll take my chances with the vaccine rather than take on Covid unvaccinated.  On balance, the vaccines are a good thing…and so is freedom…up to a point.  I’ll just leave that there.

 

And I’ll wrap this up with the Greatest Good of all, Jesus Christ.  My faith journey has always felt like one step forward, two steps back.  But the older I get, the more I realize that it’s not my steps but His steps that really matter.  By His grace I am starting to see His steps more clearly now.  And I know that I am forgiven for the bad ones I’ve taken on my own.  We never find peace within ourselves or with others until we find peace with God.  

May you find Peace in 2022.